You've Got Mail: Smallville Edition
by RedTailedHawkens
Summary: In an reality only slightly different from the show, Clark is looking to get over Lana, Chloe is looking to get over Clark, and Lana is just looking to feel less lonely. These 3, and other teens join an on-line dating site. More complete summary inside.
1. Prologue

Author's Note: They really do not give you enough room for a summary, so this should help explain some things, but may contain spoilers for the story so if you do not like that, you may skip it, but if you get confused, it might be a good things to look back at.

Smallville Alternate Reality. Clark already found out he is from another planet, but still has yet to talk to Lana. She is with Whitney, but often feels alone. Pete moved away earlier, so it is just Chloe and Clark. She has feelings for him, but long ago accepted that he will never notice her let alone return those feelings. She is, however, getting sick of him pinning for Lana when he has never been able to talk to her. She convinces him to join an online dating service, which she also does in hopes of getting over him and finding somebody. Her screen name is LadyLochness, his is PermanentVisitor, and to avoid awkwardness, they tell each other their aliases before doing anything. Clark starts talking to somebody called Porcelain, and Chloe talks to somebody named The Infuriator…well, you will have to see. Chat Text is Apple Symbols font. Email text is American Typewriter font. Chat colors are blue for Clark, orange for Porcelain (A nod to the Insect Queen's bee costume, yellow was obviously not an option, as well as the fact that everybody makes a big deal about her and pink which probably bugs her almost as much as it bugs me. Bugs. Ha. ), Light gray for The Infuriator (only because I cannot use white), and Chloe is pink (because both she and I appreciate irony)

Prologue

Chloe walked into the Torch office. Her best friend was sitting in her desk chair.

The Torch was the High school Paper, which Chloe was editor of. It seemed a little odd for a freshman to be editor, but Smallville was not really a news-conscious town. In fact, if Clark had not been a friend she had guilted into the whole thing, she probably would not have any staff. Okay, so maybe that was a slight exaggeration, but not by much.

"So," Chloe said, alerting Clark to her presence. He immediately stood, giving her back her chair. She appreciated the gesture, but it really was not necessary. "Why are you hiding out in here? Not that I mind, abusing the facilities is a perk of the job, but just out of curiosity?"

"Hello to you too," Clark said with a smirk, "And I wasn't hiding."

"Then what are you doing. I find it hard to believe you would voluntarily spend a free period in the office of an extracurricular you hate and were forced into without something that resembles a good reason."

"I don't hate it." Clark said defensively.

"Uh, huh." Chloe said sarcastically. She rolled her eyes. Clark always had to be polite. He was raised with strong morals, and he never wanted to hurt people's feelings if it could be avoided. It was one of the many things she loved about him, but it could also be annoying. They both knew, given the choice, he would never write another article again. "So, what are you doing in here?"

"I just figured you'd be here." She felt her heart lurch, and while she tried to repress the urge to smile, a little smirk snuck its way onto her face. "I mean, you know, it's not like I have anybody else to talk to since Pete moved away."

Chloe could not help but feel disappointed, but she tried not to show it. All she said was, "Gee, thanks." Sarcastically.

"You know what I mean." Clark said. Chloe nodded.

Pete had been Clark's best friend since the two boys were five. Actually, to the best she could tell, Pete had been Clark's only friend.

Chloe moved to Smallville in middle school, and the three had become very close, but then Pete's mother had gotten a job somewhere else, and he left. So, this year, it was just Chloe and Clark, which was great, but a little lonely for Clark. Chloe could tell. For some reason, Clark often seemed somewhere else. And not just because he sometimes disappeared with no explanation. No, he had this way of being right there with you, and being a very good listener, but at the same time, you knew he was struggling with something deep down, something he would never share.

It was really a choice for Chloe. She picked her friends carefully, and she felt Clark was all she needed. But she knew that with Clark, he would not mind a few more friends. For some reason though, he did not seem to think they would accept him. School politics aside, Clark was charming and handsome, smart and funny, and a really great friend. She could attest to that. She had liked him the day she met him…but that was a different story. The point was, if he were not so self-conscious, he might be a little less lonely.

"Well, you know, there is that party this weekend. You could go, meet some people, spread your wings." She offered.

"Why would I want to do that?"

"Because guys need guy friends. And I can tell you've been pretty lonely since Pete left."

"That's not-"

"It's okay. I get it, and I'm not offended, you guys have been friends since the sandbox." She smiled, picturing what the two must have looked like at age five, playing around in a sandbox. "But maybe partying a little would be good for you."

"I didn't think you were a big high school party advocate."

"I'm not against them. Besides, I'm not the one hanging out in a place they hate because they're lonely."

"I told you, I don't hate it. Look, do you want me to go?"

"No, I, you're not bothering me. You can hang here anytime, I love your company. But you've been lonely, and I'm worried about you. And I hate to play the mom, especially since you already have the perfect one, but if you don't do anything social and then complain about how lonely you are, you have nobody to blame but yourself."

I sighed, "Everybody always brings date's to these things."

"So, ask somebody."

His face changed, and it only took a millisecond for Chloe to know what he was thinking. She waited for him to say something.

"I don't think there's anybody I could ask. I mean, you can't just ask a girl unless you really like her."

"And, in your case, you can't ask her if you_ do_ really like her."

Clark looked at Chloe, "What do you mean?"

"Do you seriously not know how transparent you are? I know what you were thinking about… who you were thinking about. Cheerleader, brunette, initials L.L."

"I wasn't-" Chloe glared at him, and he stopped. He had been in love with Lana Lang since he was five, or at least, that was what Pete said, and Chloe believed him. It was the truth, and it was not too hard to figure out the day she moved there by the way he looked at his beautiful next-door neighbor. When they had met, chloe had wished he would look at her like that, and she had continued wishing for a long time after. But he never would, she knew that. She could not help getting excited or hoping in her heart. That was how love was, and she was in love with him. But she knew he was not in love with her and never would be. And she had accepted that. She could live with being his friend, but watching him moon over Lana was just getting plain sad. Not only was the girl popular, but she had a boyfriend, and no clue that Clark existed. She understood that he could not feel for her, but did he_ have_ to feel for Miss Popular.

"Clark, this is getting ridiculous. You have had a thing for this girl since you could crawl, been in the same grade as her, lived next door to her, and she does not even know your name. Either make a move or move on, because really, this is starting to get a little sad."

"She knows my name." Clark said.

"Maybe in the, it's-a-small-town-and-we-wave-to-each-other-in-the-hall kind of way, but I bet she couldn't pick you out of a lineup. Not that it's her fault, seeing as how you have never had a conversation with her that consisted of anything other than her saying hi and you standing there like and idiot."

Whenever Lana was around, Clark basically turned to jelly. He fell down, tripping on everything. He got clumsy and nervous and could never find his voice.

"She's said more to me than that."

"Really?" Chloe asked, surprised.

"Yeah."

"What did she say?" Clark muttered something, "What?"

"She asked if I wouldn't mind scooting down a little in my seat so she could see the blackboard." Chloe smirked.

"Look, maybe you need a girl who you don't have to talk to."

"Is this some sort of riddle?"

Chloe laughed, "There's this website. You fill out a profile, and they find somebody compatible."

"A dating site?" I groaned.

"Don't knock it till you try it."

"You've tried it?"

"Well, not yet, but I was planning to. I am in a serious romantic rut. I haven't had a date in months, and I haven't had a boyfriend in…well, ever."

I smirked, "And you criticize me."

"Hey, at least I'm getting out there. And you should too."

"I don't know. Having a computer choose a girl for you. It doesn't seem very romantic."

"Wake up, this is the twenty-first century, the computer age."

"I don't think so."

"Come on, you have two options, do _**something**_, anything about the Lana situation, or move on. You're sitting here in this sad, pathetic limbo, and I can't stand to watch it anymore."

He sighed. Talking to her, making a move, was both exiting and terrifying, but, a dating site? He really did not like the idea. And both of them knew why, because as uncomfortable corn-fed down home as he was with finding his true love through a machine, the main reason was that regardless of the nothing that had happened, he did not feel right writing off the option. While he would never admit it out loud, he was so in love with her he could not see straight. The idea of forgetting her and moving on…he could not even comprehend it. As far as he was concerned, Lana Lang was the only girl who existed, ever had existed, and ever would exist. She was the only option leaving no alternative. And knowing how pushy Chloe could be when she got something in her head, he knew what he had to do.

"Actually, " he started, cautiously, "it so happens I was going to do something about the I situation. I was going to talk to her."

"Really," Chloe said, surprised, "When?"

"Soon," Clark said, trying to be as vague as possible. He really was planning to do it. Really. He was. But it would take time to prepare. He could not just walk up to her and-

"Well, you have until the end of the day. After that, you have a hot date with your computer." Chloe said, and she walked out of the torch before he could argue.

Clark stood watching Lana and her friends, joking, laughing. She looked like an angel, completely untouchable. He saw her wave to her friends, he saw them walk away, and then she was alone. He took a deep breath, and walked up to her. He tripped when he was inches from her. She looked up at the sound of him crashing to the ground.

"Are you all right?" she asked, offering her hand to help him up. He stared up at her dumbly, not moving. Finally, he got to his feet. He felt like he was going to throw-up. He could not think; he just stood there like a statue. He knew if he attempted anything, he would just collapse again, or sound like an idiot. Really, he just could not form any words or thoughts. Because there she was. Right in front of him. She smelled like lavender soap and an ocean breeze. Her hair was perfect, flowing like ebony silk behind her, her eyes penetrating, so innocent, and yet, so jaded. He just stood there like an idiot. She looked at him.

"Are you okay?" she tried again.

_At least nod or something. _His mind screamed, but he could not, he was frozen. He heard a car horn, and she turned toward the noise.

She nodded politely. She knew who he was; he had been her neighbor since they were kids. His name was Clark, and he had always seemed like a decent person. She did not really know anything about him, except that he was clumsy. Despite the fact that they had known each other basically their whole lives, they had never spoken. She felt a little sorry for him sometimes, a social outcast from what she could determine, but it was hard to feel anything for him or think anything about him because she did not really know him. She tried to be nice and polite to him, after all, she had nothing against him, but it seemed so strange sometimes, how she had known him forever and they had barely ever said more than hi to one another. She felt bad just leaving, but he appeared fine, a little green maybe, but he did not seem to want her help, or her company. And her ride was here. So, she waved politely, murmured something about hoping her felt better, and got into her boyfriend's car.

Clark watched her drive away. He felt like such a moron. If he could, he would be ringing his own neck right now. Chloe came up behind him. _Of course, she would have witnessed the whole train wreck_, Clark thought. He finally found his voice.

"So, how do I set up a screen name?" He asked. Chloe smiled.


	2. Chapter One

Author's Note: I just discovered that font and color do not show up on . So, email's will not be Capitals. For chats, Porcalain will be underlined, **LadyLochness will be bold,** PermanentVisitor will be shadow, The Infuriator will be a smaller font.

Okay, apparently that does not work either. So, email's will not be _**Bold Italics.**_ For chats, Porcalain will be underlined, _LadyLochness will be italics underlined_**,** **PermanentVisitor will be bold,** **The Infuriator will be bold underlined.**

Chapter One

Clark sat nervously at the computer. He had just logged into his new account. What if he did not have any matches, what if he was too incompatible? He and Chloe had exchanged screen names to avoid awkwardness incase they ended up matching and then revealed something personal that they would not want anybody to know. She had helped him set up his screename. His screename was PermanentVisitor. Hers was Lady Lochness. So, if that was who he got, he would know not to click on it. But what if she was his only match, or what if he did not get any? _Stop being such a chick, Clark._ Finally, he looked at the page. He breathed a sigh of relief. For all he knew, they could be psychopaths, but it was still better than nobody. He actually had a good amount of matches, seventeen to be exact. Each one had a small description in their profile, like he had put in his. He started reading.

_**ChemChic: I like science and cooking. I am pretty shy, which might explain why I am single, but I am really nice once you get to know me.**_

She had potential.

_**DancerGirl: I am flexible and outgoing, but I also enjoy quiet evenings at home.**_

Nothing really caught his eye about her.

_**AppleGirl: I am very much the small-town girl-next-door who makes apple pies just like your mothers. Not exactly the sexy party girl that guys fall all over themselves for, but what can I say, I am old fashioned and just looking for somebody to love.**_

Also a nice candidate.

_**Porcelain: I am a good listener, and could use somebody with that same skill. I am really just looking for a friend. We all feel alone sometimes.**_

He could certainly relate to that.

After reading all of the responses, I picked three girls to write to, ChemChic, AppleGirl, and Porcelain. They seemed the most like people he thought he could have a connection with. He started with Chemchic.

_**ChemChic,**_

_**Hi. I am rather new at this sort of thing, and, to be honest, I feel a little awkward, but I am also into science, more astronomy than chemistry, but still, and you sound pretty nice. Maybe we could talk sometime.**_

_**PermanentVisitor**_

_**AppleGirl,**_

_**There is nothing wrong with down home values, especially in a small town. I live on a farm, and was raised to believe in the very values you mentioned, though I doubt your apple pie could hold a candle to my mothers. Still, I would be interested in getting to know you. Please write back.**_

_**PermanentVisitor.**_

He was just about to write a response to Porcelain when her profile lit up. That meant she was online, open to chat with him. Clark was definitely not the chatting type, but she would know he was online, and would probably take it as a snub if he did not say something.

**Hi.**

He started, and then realized that that sounded lame.

**I, uh, I was just about to respond o you. I am PermanentVisitor, we got matched up.**

He waited

So I see.

**Hi. I know I already wrote that. I am not too good at talking to girls. Or, anybody really.**

You're the shy type?

**I guess that would be a way of putting it. It sounds better than chicken.**

We all have problems expressing ourselves, one way or another. It does not say anything bad about you. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself.

**Well, so far I like you.**

Well that makes one of us.

**Ouch.**

No, I didn't mean…what I meant was, I don't like myself so much right now.

**Why?**

Nothing major. Just a classic case of overachievers' syndrome. You over schedule yourself, assume too many responsibilities than are humanly possible, and then get disappointed with yourself because you cannot do them all.

**Looks like I'm not the only one who is too hard on themselves.**

I guess not. I have to go. I am sorry, but it has been nice chatting with you.

**Surprisingly, the feeling is mutual. Maybe this computer meet and greet isn't so lame after all.**

The two of them logged off. I was surprised by how free he had felt. Not seeing who he was talking to, knowing they did not know who he was, and never had to, was very freeing. He could be anybody. In fact, he could be the one thing he had always wanted to be, but never felt comfortable being. He could be himself.


	3. Chapter Two

So, email's will not be _**Bold Italics.**_ For chats, Porcelain will be underlined, _LadyLochness will be italics underlined_**,** **PermanentVisitor will be bold,** **The Infuriator will be bold underlined.**

Chapter Two

Porcelain stepped back from her computer, shutting the screen off. She had gotten a lot of matches, but she did not have time to respond to them all. She had a lot of responsibilities that needed tending to. It was strange, this experiment. Most people were probably doing it to get dates, but she had a boyfriend, and she was very happy with him. She just got lonely sometimes. She did not have any real close friends, anybody she felt comfortable confiding, and she thought maybe without having to put up the front, or deal with what people knew, or _thought_ they knew about her, maybe, for once, she could just be herself. If she could find just one real friend out of the fifty-three responses, her experiment would be a success.

Chloe checked her responses. One of her matches had already written her five times. A little excessive, but intriguing. The reporter in her just had to see what the guy had to say to her so desperately, not to mention the girl.

_**Dear Lady Lochness,**_

_** I was thrilled when I saw we were matched up together. I was a little scared I would **__**not get any matches. I did not get many. Well, that is not true; I got a few, but nobody who has responded yet. I hope you do, because I have this feeling in my gut. I like your screen name by the way. Where did you come up with it? I am curious. I hope that is not a too intrusive question. I am sorry. I am a little nervous. Who knew you could babble digitally? That was my attempt at a humorous comment. I hope it took, because nothing is more beautiful than when a girl lets herself laugh, really laugh, without worrying that she looks silly or pretending to laugh to be polite, and it takes a really good joke to do that. I know that sounds silly, the part about beautiful, I mean, considering I cannot see you, but a laugh is one of the few beauties that reflects the heart on the outside. If a laugh is real, it shows the persons beauty, and if she has a really beautiful laugh, well, then she is beautiful inside out. I hope this makes you smile, and I hope to hear from you.**_

_** ~The Infuriator**_

Chloe smiled, surprised at the openness of The Infuriator, and intrigued by his romantic side. She wondered briefly if he was a woman, but shrugged that off, chastising herself a little for falling victim to a stereotype. He seemed like he kept bumbling around looking for the perfect thing to say, and made a bit of a fool of himself on the way, but when he got their, his words were perfect. Ever the skeptic, she checked what he said about laughter on the internet to see if her was copying the words, or even the concept, but it was clear it was original. She looked at his profile. He was interested in photojournalism, and hoped to work at the Daily Planet. He had characterized himself as ambitious and determined. No wonder the computer matched them up together. She checked the next email, which was a little eloquent, but mostly bumbley apology for sharing too much his first letter. The third was to thank her for not responding with the rude and demoralizing words that his two other matches had. His third was another apology, but this time, it was about the other two woman, saying he was sure they were nice, might even be friends of hers, he had been to sensitive of their rejection, and he should not have vented. The final one was to apologize for the excessive emails and to inquire if she planned to respond. She laughed to herself. This guy sure had some low self-esteem, but it was charming in its own way. And, she knew from experience, just because a guy had low self-esteem did not mean it was legitimate. Her thoughts turned to Clark. She wondered if he had found a match yet. Probably not, he was oblivious and slow, something she knew all to well. A part of her wished the computer had paired them up, even though she knew since they knew each other's screenames, they would have both dismissed it, to know that the computers formula thought there was a chemistry, a chance…but, she digressed. This little experiment was all about moving on. She started typing.

_**Infuriator,**_

_** LadyLochness here, which, since you asked, was because the Loch N**__**ess Monster was the subject of the first big article I ever wrote for a school paper. And, by the way, you never have to apologize to a reporter for asking a question, intrusive or not. I appreciate a healthy curiosity. We all babble when we are nervous, and an online dating service would make **__**Bill Tuohy **__**shake. And, believe me, there is almost nothing you cannot do digitally. My laptop is my life, which sounds a little sad, but since you were honest about your insecurities, it seems only fair that I am honest about mine. It is impressive that you would put that out there without knowing who was going to read it. And if somebody is rude, and t hurts your feelings, there is nothing wrong with venting that, especially since you do not even know their real names. Feel free to vent to me any time. Just…talk about other stuff too so I do not start to think you are nothing but a whiner. I liked your thing about the smile, but why not tell me something about you. This is about getting to know somebody, really know them, and while I know you like pretty smiles and have a poetically romantic flare, I do not really know much else. Where did your screenname come from, since you asked about mine? Why photojournalism? Have you ever been published? You could send me a clipping of the picture without your name. Just make sure the picture has been copyrighted before sending it into cyberspace. You said you had a gut feeling. What exactly did you mean? Was it the screenname? Do you have any interest in the Loch Ness Monster, or any other myths and mysteries? Personally, I have a little Nancy Drew in me, which makes a good reporter, not to mention the spirit of Aleya Naiman often possesses me. When you get down to it, something that the world cannot explain is my bread and butter, and I love bread and butter, though I am more of a coffee gal, but that is only because it keeps me sane. **_

_** ~Curiously Anxious for a Reply (Hey, what**__**'s that about?)**_

_** ~LadyLochness**_

Chloe pressed send and then stepped back from her computer. This was actually kind of fun, in a bizarre way. But, alas, she had homework to do and articles to edit, so that took priority. She took out her trig book and flipped to the assigned page.

The Infuriator had been chomping at the bit, waiting for a response. He did not want to seem desperate, but then, who would know. He opened his response, and was surprised and pleased by what it said. He read it over five or six times, and then began to pen a response.


	4. Chapter Three

So, email's will not be _**Bold Italics.**_ For chats, Porcelain will be underlined, _LadyLochness will be italics underlined_**,** **PermanentVisitor will be bold,** **The Infuriator will be bold underlined.**

Chapter Three

When Clark came into school the next morning, he could not help examining every girl who passed by closely. Was she clutching a chemistry book or wearing a warm home knit sweater with an apple pie stain? He knew it was silly, but he could not help but wonder if any of the girls he was starting to correspond with went to the school. Were they here right now?

"Hi." I said, bouncing up behind him. He spun around startled. "I just said hey, not I'm dropping a bomb. What's with the jumpiness?"

"Nothing, sorry, I just…" he did not finish. He was too embarrassed, "How did you do on the homework?"

They started walking to the torch office. Chloe had to proof some things before the end of the day. "Random subject change noted. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Great. So, did you get any matches?" she asked, casually bringing it up. She did not know why. The best way to get over him was not poking her green-eyed monster from his slumber, but she could not help it. Nobody was saying anything, and she was curious.

"Yeah. I did."

"Well, tell me about them, any prospects for the future Mrs. Kent?"

"I wouldn't say that. There are a few who are interesting."

Chloe opened the door to the torch and headed for her computer. "Well, let me check 'em out?" she said, calling up the page. Clark looked at her, shocked, "I, um, they're kind of private."

"Clark, you are sending information into cyberspace. It is hardly private." He stood uncomfortably as she looked through his correspondence. "Interesting." She said as she scrolled, "So you like these two then?"

"Two?" he asked. She was looking at his emails. Then he remembered, he had never emailed the third one. It had been a chat, which disappeared once it was finished. Chloe could easily retrieve it, she was good at the, but she had no way of knowing that their had been a chat, and Clark certainly was not going to tell her.

"Well, they responded," she was saying. He looked up, "Go ahead, I can wait." She said, moving aside for him to get to the computer.

_**PermanentVisitor,**_

_** I was happy to hear from you. So, astronomy. That**__**'s cool. Constellations and stuff, right? I am better with mixing, measuring, and making calculations myself, but that is pretty cool. I have trouble seeing the constellations sometimes. I know what they are supposed to look like, but to me, I don't know. I just cannot make the connection. I did always like that Drinking Gourd song. I don't know why. What is your favorite constellation?**_

_** ~ChemChic**_

_**PermanentVisitor,**_

_** You have not even tasted my pie. I think you are jumping to conclusions. I have known guys who put their mother before their signif**__**icant other and it never ends well. It was like that with my parents, and they are divorced now. My dad is back living with his mother. That is not what I want. I do not know if this is such a good idea. No hard feelings.**_

_** ~AppleGirl**_

Clark stared at the last one. "It was just a joke."

Chloe laughed, "Well, I guess_ she _is not going to be the next Mrs. Kent." Clark gave her and annoyed look, but that only made her laugh harder. Finally, she left him alone to respond to his last (or so she thought) candidate.

He decided that maybe he should wait till tonight to write back, after the sting of the rejection had worn off some. Besides which, he did not have any of his books and was not looking at the stars right now. No, he would take his laptop into the loft, and write to her while looking at the stars.

He started a draft, but it was filled with his feelings of his rejection.

_**If I wrote to you after you said you were a very hometown family values girl who likes to bake pies saying, "There is nothing wrong with down home values, especially in a small town. I live on a farm, and was raised to believe in the very values you mentioned, though I doubt your apple pie could hold a candle to my mothers" how would you react? I am only asking because I got a very offended response for writing just that. I mean, I seriously only meant it as joke. I am sure her pies are great, and honestly, I think she is jumping the gun saying it that I am choosing my mother over her, I mean, we've only emailed once, and only because this stupid system matched us up. I am thinking maybe I should go back to my original opinion. This is not the way to meet people, romantic or otherwise. Yes, it tears back the veiled picture we all create of who we are out of fear of judgment and lets us be ourselves, but we are being ourselves with complete strangers who could be anybody. I could be a psychopath. So could you. Anyone of us could be anybody. I could be talking to one of my teachers. The idea of anonymity in a world full of judgment, ridicule, and paranoia, not to mention the nerves elicited from looking at a pretty girl has its appeal, I admit. I am not saying the system is not appealing; it just seems a little too insane. Is it really necessary? It helps with the shy thing, but…I don't know. I do not know why I wrote this. I guess I am just getting all of my fears and doubts about this program out of my head so I do not have to deal with them or think about them. Sometimes I have so much going on in my head I think I might explode. And it is not like I have anybody to talk to. I do not have anybody I can completely trust, except maybe my parents, but there are things I cannot talk to them about. I get so confused sometimes, and curious, and lonely. I guess that is why I am doing this. Yes, my friend was pushy and persuasive and thinks I need a life and other friends, yes, I have trouble talking to girls, yes, I have only one friend, but really, when you get down to it, I think all I really want is to find somebody or something to make me feel not so alone.**_

He had been holding that in for so long, it felt good to get it out. He could never send it of course. He would have to delete it so Chloe could not read it. It was embarrassing, and personal, and might hurt her feelings, and he knew if he left it on her server, she would not be able to help herself. He heard the door open and quickly closed and deleted the document.

"So, what did you write?" she asked, unable to curb her curiosity, as always. Before he could answer, the bell rang. This was good, because he had no clue what he might have said. He had sat there making a draft he never sent. He walked to class, just glad it was out of his system, and thankful he had gotten rid of it before Chloe came. What he did not know was that in his rush to delete it, he had accidentally sent a copy out into cyberspace, straight to the server of his Chat pal, Porcelain.

She stared at her screen. How could a guy, any guy, feel so comfortable opening up to a complete stranger? Even if it was anonymous. She understood the need to vent of course, it was just… She decided to read it again. Maybe she could find some hidden meaning for why he had chosen to confide in her. She wished she still had that chat conversation, but it was lost in cyberspace. It was not that she felt put upon that he had chosen to vent to her, she was actually touched by his openness and honesty, it just did not make a lot of sense.

She decided, after reading it four or five times, that anybody who had shown such faith in her deserved a rapid response. But how do you follow something like that without sounding totally inadequate.

After Clark finished his homework, he decided, why not check his profile. He had a response from Porcelain, which was weird, since he never technically sent her anything. He opened it up. To his horror, he recognized the text at the bottom. He had sent her his vent-mail by mistake. How did that even happen? He felt like disappearing. That was the most embarrassing thing he had ever written. She probably thought he was some kind of a whiny, angry, lunatic or something. He tried to calm himself down, and forced himself to look at the top of the page. He had to know.

_**PermanentVisitor,**_

_** Personally, I find your comment appropriately humorous for a second email. I do not know who this girl is, but I t**__**hink she sounds a little too serious, and she is probably putting to much stock in this Internet thing. It is just for fun. It is probably a good thing though, because if she overreacted that much to your sense of humor, she probably would not have been a good match for you. I liked what you said, by the way, about how this "tears back the veiled picture we all create of who we are out of fear of judgment and lets us be ourselves." I hope I did not embarrass you by saying that. Some guys get a little flushed when somebody compliments them, and I get the impression that you are pretty shy. All though, your email was not very shy. For the record, I am neither a psychopath, nor a teacher. I certainly hope you are not a psychopath, but, like you said, your identity is masked. As for what you said about getting nervous around pretty girls, if they like you, they will probably find it cute, and if not, then they probably are not right for you. Love can be weird like that. I had some fears about this too, that it could be traced back to me. I guess I have been trying to hide some of who I am, even in cyberspace, because of that fear. That is why my profile is not very expansive. I do not think I would have had the guts to do what you did, sending what you did. But I appreciate it, and I am returning that show of faith. Most guys have trouble being honest. But then, who am I to judge. My whole life seems like a lie. No, not a lie. More like a play. Like I am playing a character all the time, even when I am alone incase somebody is looking, and I know I have to get the script just right, and I cannot miss a single cue or else the whole thing goes down. I don't think I have even had the time to figure out what I would want to be doing if I did not have to act. Clearly I have quite a lot to get off my chest as well. When you cannot speak your mind, for fear of judgment, a lot tends to build up. Some thoughts, you forgot you had, or were never even aware of, but they are there. I do not have anybody I can talk to about these things either. Maybe we could talk to each other. If you ever need to vent to me, you are more than welcome, I will listen, not judge, and give the best advice I can think of when you ask for it. You are lucky that you can talk to your parents to some extent. I love mine, I truly do, but it can be hard to talk to them. In fact, they are mostly the reason I put on the play. You see, I am adopted, and I always feel like I have to repay the person who took me in when nobody wanted me, and prove that I am worth keeping. So, I cannot really talk about behind the scenes stuff to the person who is writing the play. I think we all have trust issues, or at least, I hope we do, because you and I do, and I would hate to think we are the only ones. Trusting somebody, when you get right down to it, is giving somebody power over you, power to hurt you, if they wanted. You could only give it to somebody who you know would never want to hurt you, no matter what. And that is not so easy to know. I guess that is why honesty is so important to me. If somebody trusts you, you can probably trust them. We are all looking for somebody to trust, and love, and talk to. Somebody to make us less lonely. But then, if the world is full of people, and each one is lonely, maybe we are not so alone after all. **_

_** ~Porcelain**_

Clark sat back from the computer. Wow. That was. Wow. It certainly was not the response he had expected. In fact, he never would have dreamed he would get such a response. Do people really respond to honesty this much, or was it just this one girl. When he thought about it, he realized that if he had gotten a letter from somebody like the one he sent, he would probably feel obligated to open up too. Should he tell her it had been a mistake. That might embarrass her. She might want to end it. And he did not want that. But, she had just said how important honesty was to her, and if he started off with a lie, it was certain to bite him in the ass later. He just knew it. He quickly wrote up a note saying he had accidentally sent his rant when he was clearing out his head, but he appreciated how she had responded. He told her how he had thought she would respond, and how relieved he was by how she did. He wrote that he wished it had been intentional, and from now on, he would write emails as honest and open as his own thoughts. He thanked her for offering to listen, and explained how much it meant to him to have somebody there. He wrote he hoped she was not angry and would not stop writing, and told her that he liked her play description, and how he felt like that too sometimes. Basically, he wrote everything he should have written to her intentionally the first time around. After what she had written, it was what she deserved. He pressed send, and waited. After successfully sending his message, he went to turn off the computer. Until he saw that was on-line.

She felt like such an idiot. Of course no guy would open up like that. Maybe she should just end this experiment here and now, pretend like it never happened.

**Hi**

He was online. She had to respond, didn't she?

Hey. I got your email.

**Good. **

I am sorry.

**What did you do?**

Read something I wasn't supposed to and respond with more than I should have.

**That wasn****'t your fault. Anyway, I'm glad it happened. I don't think I would have had the guts to open up if it had not been an accident the first time.**

The first time?

**Yeah. So, you****'re adopted.**

Yeah.

**Me too.**

Do you remember your parents?

**No. I never even knew their names.**

I'm sorry.

**It****'s okay. Its better, because I cannot miss what I do not remember, and I have the best parents I could ever ask for.**

You're lucky.

**What about you? Do you remember yours?**

They died when I was pretty young, but I remember some things, and there are stories, and a couple old movies. It is not a lot, but its something. I remember them enough to know I miss them and wish they were here, but not much more.

**I****'m sorry.**

It's not your fault.

**Still.**

Thanks. You know, maybe we should leave superficial facts like where we live and who with out of this. Preserve the anonymity.

**I know what you mean. I keep looking around me at every girl I see for some clue.**

Had any luck?

**Not so much, but then, I****'m not the most observant. Or so I've been told anyway.**

That's too bad.

**You****'re a very good writer, you know.**

Thanks, I read a lot. So, why exactly did you sign up to do this anyway?

**My friend talked me into it. She seemed to think I was way too lonely.**

Just a friend, or a girlfriend?

**Just a friend. Of course. I do not think of her like that.**

Do you have a girlfriend? Or is that too personal a question?

**I am too shy to **_**talk**_** to girls. What do you think? I mean, why wou****ld I do this if I were involved?**

Maybe you're lonely.

**Is that why you are doing this?**

Sort of, yeah.

**Well, there is kind of this one girl.**

Tell me.

**She****'s…I don't know, perfect.**

Nobody's perfect.

**I know, and I don****'t mean perfect in a superficial way, it's just, when I look at her, I feel, well, actually, I feel sick to my stomach, but I also feel…whole, and, understood, safe, and complete, like I have a purpose. Like I was just put here on this earth for her. To be with her. To protect her. She's smart and beautiful, and she's seen so much pain, but it has only made her stronger. She has no clue how amazing she is which only makes her more amazing. She's well-rounded, and brave, and mature, and innocent. I mean, she is like this pure, innocent girl you want to protect, but at the same time, you know she knows so much more than you. Somehow, she's a girl and a woman at the same time.**

That's quite a speech. You are in love.

**Yeah. It****'s kind of sad though.**

Why?

**Because, I****'ve never actually spoken to her. Well, not more than a passing hi, anyway. That's where the whole shy thing tends to get you in trouble.**

Well, I cannot imagine why. The way you worship her, want to know her, really listen to and understand her, I cannot imagine any girl not wanting that.

**No she****'s…she's out of my league. Besides, she has a boyfriend.**

Ouch. I'm sorry.

**It****'s not your fault. Anyway, I'm trying to move on, or so I tell myself.**

Good luck.

**Thanks.**

I have to go. We'll talk later.

**Okay.**

Bye.

**Bye.**


	5. Chapter Four

So, email's will not be _**Bold Italics.**_ For chats, Porcelain will be underlined, _LadyLochness will be italics underlined_**,** **PermanentVisitor will be bold,** **The Infuriator will be bold underlined.**

Chapter Four

Chloe absently eyed her email. She wanted to open it and see if The Infuriator had replied to her last inquiry, but she had far too much to do. She saw Clark walk in.

"Clark, great, um, these need to be edited." She said, handing him a stack of papers.

"Hello to you too Chloe."

"Sorry Clark, but I don't have time for pleasantries. I am on a major deadline right now."

Clark laughed, "So, what else is new?"

There was a knock on the door. Both teens looked up, and Clark nearly fell to the floor. _Lana._ Chloe rolled her eyes. Apparently, whomever Clark had been corresponding with for the past two weeks had not had the desired effect on him; he was still pathetically smitten.

"Sorry, um, is this a bad time?"

Clark got up from behind the desk. Lana was a little startled by her neighbor's sudden appearance in the room, but she tried not to show it. She did not want to hurt his feelings.

"That depends. Bad time for…?" Chloe said.

"I was just wondering if you could run an announcement in the torch. The cheerleaders are organizing a small dance. It is not a big deal sort of thing, but all proceeds go to charity, and tickets go on sale tomorrow." Lana took out a piece of paper, "It says where to buy tickets, for how much, a little about the organization we are trying to help, and where and when the dance is."

Chloe took the paper. "Sure," she said, with a chilled sarcasm, "I'll try and fit it somewhere near the end."

Clark gave Chloe a look. Why did she always have to be so rude to Lana? Lana had never been anything but nice to her. So, she was a cheerleader; that hardly made her evil. Lana was really sweet to everybody. That was why she was popular, not because she was some bitch people were scared of. People just liked her, that was all. Why couldn't Chloe just be a little nicer to her?

"What Chloe means is," Clark said, trying to spare Lana's feelings and apologize for Chloe's behavior. His eyes settled on her face and his mouth went dry. He could not remember what he had been going to say. He was sure he had started speaking, but… he looked at her. Her eyes were so wide. They were full of a warmth, a need. They were the eyes of a girl longing to be loved. He wanted to tell her he loved her. He wanted to blurt it out right there, and for once, he was glad he had no motor skills in her presence. She was looking at him. Right at him. She looked expectant, like she was waiting for something, waiting for him. He had been talking. What had he been saying?

Chloe looked from Clark to Lana. On the one hand, this was pathetic beyond reason, but on the other, she knew the embarrassment would be devastating. She had to intervene.

"Just that I'm swamped. I meant nothing personal against your little announcement." Chloe tried, making her best effort to keep the sarcasm out of her voice for fear that it would prompt the ever-chivalrous Clark to start talking again…and then not finish.

"Thank you." Lana said. She was little confused, but grateful. It was one less thing to deal with.

"Clark, will you edit this too?" Chloe asked, giving him the copy without thinking. She cursed herself. Why hadn't she waited for Lana to leave? But he surprised her.

"Of course." He said, attempting a smile. He looked down, staring at the paper. He wanted to look at Lana, but he wanted to complete a sentence in front of her more. She was probably starting to think he was mentally challenged, "We'll make sure it's out by the end of the day."

"Much appreciated. Though how you two put out a daily and take classes is beyond me?" she said. Actually, she had quite a lot of extracurricular herself, but The Torch impressed her, and she was also trying to be polite.

"Well, it explains my English grade. Besides, it's no harder than keeping up your grades, being head cheerleader, and competing in state riding completions."

Lana smiled, "Thanks… How did you know I ride?"

"Um, we have to get back to work," Chloe said, running interference, "like you said, we're pretty busy."

"Okay. Well, thanks, bye." She waved and closed the door behind her.

That had been a rather strange encounter. Lana looked back toward the torch. Clark Kent was nice, and a little funny, and how did he know she rode horses exactly? Something had changed, and while she was not sure it was bad, she wished she understood it better. Something about this picture did not make sense. Why had he never been able to talk to her? Why was he now all of a sudden able to?

Chloe turned to Clark, a huge smile on her face, "Where did that come from?"

"What?" Chloe gave him a look, "I guess I'm just more confident lately."

Chloe nodded suspiciously.

**I took your advice. I ****talked to her.**

That's great. How'd it go?

**Well, I did what you said, focused my eyes on something else. I still think I made a complete idiot of myself, but at least now she knows I****'m capable of speech.**

Well, that's progress.

**Yeah, I guess.**

Doesn't sound like you're too thrilled.

**We****'re texting, it doesn't **_**sound**_** like anything.**

Ha ha. You know what I mean.

**Yeah, I do. it****'s just, tone is so hard to show this way.**

That's what makes a great writer.

**I am not a great writer.**

You could be. Some of the stuff you have written to me is pretty profound, not exactly poetic, but eloquent and poignant in it's own way. I think you are better than you think. 

**So, what? You think I should be a novelist or something.**

No, something more factual. I think you could do justice to nonfiction. You have a good memory, and a good eye for detail, you are not bad at describing something as it really is as opposed to with too much bias…hey, maybe you should consider journalism. Have you ever thought about that?

Clark had to laugh.

**I****'m on the school paper. But not really by choice. I spend as little time writing as possible.**

Well, maybe you should consider it.

**I****'ll think about it. So, since you are so sure about me, tell me, what does the future hold for you?**

Honestly, not a clue. I mean, I spend so much time trying to be what other people want or expect, I wouldn't have a clue what I want or what I am good at.

**Well, what do you enjoy doing. I mean, what do you look forward to, or wish you were doing during school.**

Well, reading, as you know, and writing, maybe painting.

**So, ****you're very artistic and creative. That has a lot of possibilities. Maybe you should see if your school has an art club or something.**

I'll look into it.

The door to The Torch was almost always open, especially after Chloe had almost been torched herself by a psychotic high school football coach. It was for safety, as well as to represent that The Torch had no secrets. There were always rumors going around about how Chloe made up more than half her stories to catch interest, and a tiny part of her wished it were true, because that would mean she had _not_ almost been killed 7 times since entering high school, which had only been a couple of months ago. But, for the most part, Chloe was glad. She loved exposing the truth almost as much as she loved the weird and unexplained (she still could not believe The Infuriator had gotten the reference). Making up stories would be exposing nothing, and the fact that she was exposing bizarre and unexplained things only made it better.

She remembered when her dad had been transferred to Smallville from Metropolis. She had wanted to shoot herself, but dorky as he was, she loved her father, and after her mother left them without so much as a goodbye, they had been all each other had. So she had smiled and been a brave little trooper, doing her best not to let her dad see how miserable it made her to move from Metropolis, home of The Daily Planet, hub of technology and news, crime and seedy underbellies, to Smallville, a small town full of small minds. However, it had not taken her long to discover that the seemingly harmless hamlet was full of secrets and mystery. Everybody wanted to pretend things were perfect, that it just was not happening, but Chloe knew better. She had seen things in Smallville beyond hay and corn; she had seen mutants and psychopaths. After scrupulous research, Chloe had traced all the strange goings-on in Smallville to a meteor shower that had hit Smallville about eleven years ago. It appeared that the meteors had a strange affect on citizens, giving them abilities beyond those of the average human and often driving them insane. While most people in Smallville ignored these things, and most ordinary people who acknowledged it would have fled in fear, Chloe found the whole thing thrilling. Uncover the truth behind something that made no sense was what she lived for. Besides which, Clark was here. Basically, she had grown to love Smallville, and was eternally grateful to her dad, even if the move had not exactly been his choice.

She heard a knock on the doorframe, which took her out of her reverie.

"Come in." she called, not looking up.

"Hi." A nervous voice said.

_ Lana. Well, at least Clark isn't here to drool over her._

"Yeah, I haven't quite gotten to your announcement, but don't worry, I will-"

"No this isn't about that." Lana said quickly. Chloe waited, turning her chair so she was facing Lana. Annoyed as she was, she was also curious; the school's cheer queen did not exactly spend a lot of time in the Torch.

"I wanted to ask you about something, but if you're busy, I can-"

"No, go ahead."

"Okay. Well, I was wondering, if somebody was interested in journalism, what steps should they take to pursue it?"

Chloe was stunned, "You have an interest in journalism?"

Lana shook her head, "No, not me. A friend of mine, he's a little unsure about what he wants to do with his life, but he might have a talent for it. And I want to be able to be there for him, give advice."

"Whitney?"

"Why do you keep guessing?"

"I'm just curious, but look, if you just want to be there for a friend, then be there for him, you don't need to know how the system works yourself." Lana didn't say anything, "But, for anyone interested in journalism, I would recommend journalism classes, reading local and international papers, joining a school paper, and learning to navigate a computer."

Lana smiled, "Thanks."

"Sure." Chloe said, returning to her computer.

"Okay, I have news, but before you go all conspiracy theory on me…Lana." Clark said, surprised as he entered The Torch.

"Hey Clark."

"Hey. Um, I …" _remember, look away. Like Porcelain girl said, if looking at her makes you so nervous, don't look._ He turned his head to Chloe who was looking at him amused. "Visiting The Torch twice in one week. What's the occasion?" _Oh, did that sound snide and mean, it was supposed to be clever, maybe even funny. Instead, I probably sounded like Chloe did when she talked about Lana and all the other cheerleaders._

"I just, um, had to talk to Chloe about something."

"Really, what?"

Lana looked at Chloe nervously, "It's um…private."

Both Chloe and Clark looked at her surprised, though Clark quickly looked away, "I, uh, I didn't know you two were…friends."

"Is there a reason we couldn't be… I should go." Lana said, quickly exiting.

Clark went after her, "Lana, wait. Look, I didn't mean to… I wasn't trying to-"

"It's okay Clark. It's just a little awkward."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, as I am sure you have noticed, Chloe clearly hates me. I am not completely sure why, but I guess it does not really matter, does it? It can be kind of awkward, asking help of somebody who despises you."

"And I made it worse." Clark said, thoughtfully.

"No, it was just… I've always really respected Chloe, but sometimes it seems that the only thing you can ever be is a title. To Chloe, I'm the cheerleader. I'm sorry, that probably doesn't make any sense."

"You want to be seen for who you are, not _what _you are."

Lana was surprised. That was exactly what she had been feeling. For the first time, she really looked at Clark Kent, at his eyes. At first, he seemed terrified, but that subsided, and he was just staring back at her with more warmth than she had ever seen before. "Yeah." She said.

He saw her lift her head, felt her eyes search for his, and at first, he thought he should look away before he lost all powers of speech, but he couldn't. She was looking at him, straight at him, straight into his eyes, and he couldn't look away. It was like he was in a trance. He forced his mind to focus. He did not want to look away from her, even if he had been able to, but he stilled his thoughts, and somehow, he got his tongue to move without averting his eyes. "Well, for what its worth, I can't think of any title more honorable or fitting than Lana Lang. No title can make you more or less than that, and there is nobody else who could carry it quite like you."

She smiled. She had a beautiful smile. "Thank you, Clark. I'm sorry for exploding all over you."

"You can explode on me any time you want."

Chloe sighed. She had been emailing The Infuriator for over a week now, and she was really starting to like him, but seeing Clark drooling over Lana still stung. How is it that things could be going so good with her, and then Clark could just make her fall apart? She knew it was not his fault. He could not help who he liked, just like she could not help who she liked. And it was not like he knew how she felt or anything. He was as clueless as ever. He would never hurt her intentionally; she knew that. She saw Lana walk off and Clark headed back to The Torch. She put on her best fake smile.

"Hey smiley, what's with you?"

Clark turned to her, "I just, uh, I think Lana and I just had a real conversation."

Chloe rolled her eyes, "Congratulations. You are now on the same level with ever guy who doesn't go mute in her presence."

"Funny." Chloe smirked. "So, how are things going with that guy you've been emailing with?"

"My cyber-love life is none of your business." She said playfully, "but hey, what about that girl you've been emailing. Are you going to tell her you're having conversations with other girls now?"

"Probably."

"Bold move. You think your cyberchick won't mind you exploring other avenue's?"

"What?" Clark said, looking at her confused. Chloe gave him a meaningful look, "Oh, no, it's not…it's not like that with us."

"You do know that it's a dating site, right?"

"Yeah, but she's more like a friend."

"Does she know that?"

"If she didn't, would she have been giving me tips about Lana?"

"That's messed up. I thought this whole thing was supposed to get you over Lana, and this girl is just helping you with her. That's why you talk to her so much?"

"That's not all I talk to her about."

"What else?"

"I don't know, anything, everything. She's just someone who…who I can count on when I don't have anybody else. You know, somebody who I can tell anything to and know they'll understand and not judge, it's something more that and cyber flirtation."

"I'll say. Because from what you are describing, it sounds an awful lot like more. In fact, I think you just described the exact definition of a best friend." Chloe said, turning to him. Her face was red, " And call me crazy, but that's what I thought I was here for."

She stormed out.


	6. Chapter Five

Chapter Five 

Maybe it was wrong. Strike that, she knew it was wrong. She knew it was immoral and an abuse of power, but she did not care. When it came to Clark, she had only had one thing to call her own. Lana had his heart, Pete had his past, all Chloe had was the role of confidante, the person who he could always come to, and she had accepted that role gladly. She had accepted that Clark would never look at her the way he did at Lana, because despite having everything else, she knew this was the one thing that neither Lana, nor any other girl would ever have: the _best_ friend.

She wiped a stray tear from her face. She had waited for school to let out before returning to her sanctuary. Clark was gone, and she was glad. She could not deal with him right now. Besides that, she could not do this with him here. She had helped him set up the account, so she knew all the access codes necessary. She also knew that whoever this girl was, they had gone quite a few rounds of instant messaging. Chats were deleted from cyberspace, but if Chloe was good one thing, it was computers. She could resurrect any chat session from the cyber graveyard.

Clark walked up the steps to the loft. He pointed his telescope in the direction of Lana's house. He was not a Peeping Tom or anything, but since he had never had the guts to talk to her, it was the only way he could feel close to her. He would never look in her window to see if she was naked or anything, he just liked to watch her. She was not on her porch, so he decided to get started on his homework. He wanted to call Chloe, but he figured it was too soon. She needed to cool down. He was not trying to replace her, he would never do that. She was his best friend, it was just that the girl online… they had a special connection. It was like…she got him. Not that Chloe didn't, but there were parts of him that he only knew how to show anonymously and on paper. Not the alien thing, he was not stupid enough to write anything like that. But there were things that you cannot talk about with somebody. He reached for the phone, and then stopped himself. _Just let her cool down. Give her time. Let her cool down, and then call._ This would give him time to think about what to say to her, how to explain or apologize. He stared off into space for a minute. Nothing. He needed help. He needed to know what to say to her or he could just make things worse. He needed a girl's perspective. He took out his computer and logged in.

Chloe could not believe all she had found. How had she never known any of this about Clark? Did he not trust her at all, to open up to a complete stranger like this, but not to her? She knew he had low self-esteem, but this…

"**I feel some times like all this bad stuff that happens to my friends is my fault. In fact, I know it is, but I cannot tell them, I do not know how I would explain it, so they just act nice when I know I don't deserve it. I know they would have been better off without me ever coming into this world. I just wish that…just once, I could bring something **_**good **_**to the people it love."**

She had responded saying

"You've brought yourself to them. That's something…something pretty huge in fact. It may not seem like it, but people choose to have you in their lives for a reason."

"**But they don't know all I've done…all the pain I've caused."**

"It doesn't matter, people don't love us for what we do so much as who we are. We all make mistakes, but blaming ourselves for past events that we have no real control over anymore can make us miss out on all of the amazing opportunities out their. I used to blame myself for what happened to my parents, but it was not my fault. I know it doesn't make it hurt less, but blaming myself wasn't going to bring them back."

"**For all I know, my parents could still be alive."**

"Have you ever tried to find them?"

"**No, I don't really see the point. They're miles from where I am now, and I have to amazing parents who I wouldn't trade for anything."**

"And those two amazing parents…they picked you to have in their life. Sometimes I wonder if I would have been adopted if it weren't a blood relative. Two people picked you, wanted you, love you more than anything even though they don't have to. I don't think there is anything you could do to make them wish that you weren't in their lives."

"**I guess." **

She continued to read. God, how did he ever get anything done? In just the past three days, he had over twenty hours worth of emails and chats. And why had he never told her any of this. What could he have done that he was so ashamed of?

**Hi.**

Oh God. He was online. She could just log out to avoid getting caught, but she thought she could pull of being a silent spectator. And she would just read it later anyway, so what did it matter.

Hey.

**Were you sleeping? I wouldn't want to wake you.**

It's not like the phone, besides, it's only eight o'clock. What's up?

**I could use some of your sage wisdom…I mean, if you don't mind.**

Any time. Afterwards, maybe you could help me out with something.

**Sure, any time. So, you know that friend I have, the one who made me join this?**

Not personally, but yes.

**Well, she's kind of mad at me.**

What did you do?

**What makes you so sure it was my fault?**

It's always the guys fault. Besides, you did say _she _was angry with _you_; it is not exactly rocket science.

**Oh. Well, I don't know how to explain it really.**

Try. It's the only way I can help.

That son of a bitch was writing to his pal about _her_. She wanted to go over to the Kent's and give him a hard whack.

**See, it's kind of about us. I told her about how I confide in you and she got really defensive, saying that I was trying to replace her or something.**

You aren't though.

**Of course not.**

So, tell her that.

**I can't. I mean, I can, but I never meant her to think that in the first place, and something I said made her think that. What if I try to tell her that I am not trying to replace her, and I say it wrong, and she hears something else, something worse?**

Like what?

**How the hell should I know?**

Well, trying would be a start. It seems to me you talk yourself out of things before you have the chance to screw them up, even if they were things you would not screw up in the first place.

**She's the only friend I have.**

You know what the real problem here is. You put to much pressure on everything. It's like you think every decision could cause the end of the world. One fight is not enough to end a friendship, at least not if the friendship was worth anything. If this girl is really your friend, and you are really hers, you two will work it out.

**How can you be so sure?**

Because…I have never had anybody in my life who I talked about the way you talk about the people in yours. Your parents, your best friend, that girl you like. I know tons of people who I hang out with to kill time or for some other reason, but I have never had those kinds of connections you seem to. You are very particular about choosing friends, and when you let them in your life, it's permanent, and it's real.

**Maybe I'm just too lame to make other friends.**

You are _not _lame. Self-deprecating yes; lame, no. Besides, that girl you like, you said she does not notice you, but that does not stop you from feeling that connection with her.

**Yeah. Her and I did have a real conversation today.**

_Way to stay on topic Clark. Everything always goes back to Lana, doesn't it?_ Chloe thought.

Congratulations!

**It was small, but something. And I felt like we connected for a second, but it was probably just wishful thinking.**

Or you're telling yourself that because if you don't get your hopes up they cannot be crushed.

**He, if that artsy thing does not work out, you could always look into psychoanalyst.**

Ha ha. Oh, that reminds me. I did a little research, and I know you did not exactly warm to the journalism idea, but I think you should keep an open mind. You have a real talent for factual writing. 

**Humph.**

Anyway, I talked to the editor of our school paper, and she suggested taking some journalism classes, reading the paper, joining a school paper, which you said you already have, and becoming skilled with a computer. If you do some of those things, it will help you hone your skills and see if you have a talent for it. You might find you have a hidden Carl Bernstein in you.

**I still think you are insane, but I guess everybody gets the idea of what to be from somewhere. Why not a crazy friend from an online dating site…is it weird?**

Is what weird?

**You know, that this is a dating site and we're not…you know…?**

A little at first, but, I don't know. I did not do this to meet a guy, I did it to make a friend, somebody I could talk to about things I don't feel comfortable sharing with anybody else. I would say, mission accomplished.

**Yeah, I guess.**

Sorry if you were looking for your dream girl in these pages. It must suck to settle for a friend.

**I would **_**never**_** call you settling. **

Thanks.

**No problem. It's the truth. This connection is way better than some insane cyber-affair anyway.**

Besides, you have that perfect girl of yours to focus on.

**Jealous?**

That is an odd question considering the previous conversation.

**Sorry.**

It's okay. I was not saying it was bad, just odd, since we just finished establishing the platonic nature of this relationship.

**Oh…. I'm sorry, so are you saying it wasn't bad?**

Well, if I knew you, I mean, actually knew you, I could see myself being jealous of you drooling over some girl, if that is what you mean.

**Oh…do you think…?**

What?

**I was just…do you think we know each other?**

Who knows? I do not even know if we live in the same state.

**Yeah. But, it is probably better that way, right?**

Absolutely. I have to go. Good luck.

**Thanks.**

Chloe stepped back from her computer. Lana Lang. She could not deny it. Well, that is not true, she _could_, but it would be extremely hard after what she just read. Clark would never recognize it, but she knew. Clark's pen pal was Lana Lang. Chloe felt tears tug at her eyelids.

She signed in to chat, checking to see if The Infuriator was online.

_Hi_

**Hi**

_I know we don't normally do the chat thing, but I kind of wanted to talk to someone and I didn't want to have to wait for emails to travel and be answered._

**That's all right. I mean, I kind of like email because that way I can edit so I don't sound like a total moron, but I like to keep it kind of authentic and limit the editing anyway. What's up?**

Chloe thought for a minute

_Nothing. Just wanted to talk_

**Oh.**

Lana sat back in surprise. Had she really just typed that? It had been meant to be comforting. Her friend had some obvious self-esteem issues. Just look at his screenname. But, it had felt weird. Why had she gotten flushed when he had asked if she was jealous? She knew it was not at all apparent in what she wrote, another advantage of this system of communication. But she knew, she had felt her face get red. Why had such a simple one-word question from a stranger caused such a strong physical reaction from her?

Well, not stranger really. No, he wasn't a stranger. She may have never met him, but she knew him. They had been communicating for weeks now, and she had told him things she had never told anyone, not even Whitney. And she knew he told her things he did not tell anybody either.

She did not know why she had brought the girl up. Had he been right? Well, not right, because she knew he had been kidding, but had she felt jealous? That made no sense; she had no claim on him. And then, there was Whitney. Whitney was her boyfriend, and she cared about him…a lot. What did it say about her as a girlfriend or about their relationship if she could feel jealous of somebody else's love life? Maybe that was it. Maybe it was not so much the guy, but the connection he had with this girl, a connection she had yet to feel with anybody. That must be it. It had to be. If it was anything else… Whitney was so smart, and sweet, and he cared so much for her. They had similar interests, and had been together a long time now. And he needed her. She knew that. And for some reason, she needed to be needed. And you cannot be needed by a stranger, even one who may know you better than anybody ever has.

She checked her reflection, and her face was no longer flushed. Still, she felt warmer than she would have liked. She stepped out on her porch and let the cool night air hit her face. It felt nice, soothing. She looked out across the green. All she could see from here was her backyard, but she knew there was so much more out there. The stables, the fields and forests and farms. The Kent farm. That was out there. She could not see it, but she knew where it was. Her next-door neighbors whom she barely knew. Mr. and Mrs. Kent. And Clark, of course. He had seemed nice when she had talked to him earlier; he was a good listener, understanding, and nonjudgmental. And he had said if she ever needed to talk…

Clark backed away from his computer. Had he really just asked a girl if she was jealous? He would never be that bold in person. He wondered briefly if it was the anonymity that made him comfortable making such a remark, or the girl whom he had made it to.

What had she said? _If I knew you, I could see myself being jealous._ What had that meant. Had he been cyber-flirting? Had she been? Clark was very confused, and decided to turn his attention towards clearer thing…like algebra. Math, numbers: simple. Girls: not so much.

After a half-hour lost in homework, Clark heard a knock on the barn door.

"I'll be in in a second mom. Just finishing up some homework."

"You do your homework out here?" Clark froze. That was definitely not his mom's voice. _Lana._ He was afraid to look up. What if he had dozed off, and this was a dream, and if he looked up, it would end, and she would disappear? What was she doing here?

Finally, Clark looked in her direction. She looked like she felt so out of place, all though to him, she fit perfectly. Still, for all the times he had imagined her coming over, he had no clue what to say. He decided to just go with the obvious and wing it.

"Lana." He swallowed. _You have to say more than that_. A voice in his head urged. "Yeah, well, you know, it's kind of my private sanctum around here." _Private sanctum? What the hell is wrong with you? You would have been better off staying silent._ "Um, what, er…uh, what are you doing here?"

"Well, you said before if I ever needed to talk to someone…I'm sorry is this a bad time?"

_ Answer her,_ "No. No, I just, uh, I was surprised. I mean you've never…come on in. Mi barn es su barn." He winced. He wanted to slap himself, but somehow, he did not think that would help the situation much better.

Lana walked through the doors. She was not one hundred percent sure what she was doing here. She knew she felt like talking to somebody, but she did not really know what she wanted to say.

Her eyes scanned the barn for something to start a conversation about. They settled on the telescope.

"Astronomy, huh?"

Clark seemed confused, then turned in the direction she had been looking, "Oh, uh, yeah, that…just a hobby."

Lana nodded, "I've never really been much for it. It seems like science is full of too many questions and not enough answers."

"Almost makes you wonder why they call it an exact silence."

Lana smiled. Did he just make a joke? Did she just find it funny?

"I guess." She paused as she paced the unfamiliar barn, "I don't really know why I'm here. Life's just gets confusing sometimes. Nell says that it's just what people call growing up. Sometimes things seem so certain and then…" she shrugged, letting the thought hang in the air. Clark wanted to say something, to comfort her somehow.

"It's easier…before the gray areas. When you're little, and your parents have all the answers. Then, you start coming home with questions that they probably asked their parents who probably didn't know the answer either. Black and white worlds are so sturdy and safe, it feels strange when you reach that age when you start seeing things different and start to…lose your footing."

"Do you ever think it will make sense?"

"Well, I like to think of it this way. Those questions you ask your parents that they don't know the answers too, you have to figure that there are a million more they don't know how to answer either, but if you look at them and their lives, their happy, and even with that uncertainty, they make it work. I mean, my parents are probably the happiest people I have ever met, and there are so many things I wish they knew that they don't. Maybe we don't need all the answers. Maybe there are some things out there you can just…take on faith. Maybe growing up isn't just the questioning, but excepting that you can't always find the answers."

Lana looked at him, her face glowing in the streak of moonlight that was peaking through the barn. She smiled. She had never smiled at him like that before. Finally, she said, "I guess. How'd you get to be so smart anyway?"

"You listen to enough of these 'life will make sense when you grow up' and 'you decide your fate' lectures from your parents, I guess you learn how to give them yourself."

Lana chuckled, "You know what's strange. We've been neighbors are whole lives, and we've never really had a single conversation."

Clark smiled and sat down on the couch in the loft. _You have no idea_, he thought.

"Well, we could start now." He said cautiously, but with more confidence then he ever thought he could have with Lana Lang, "What do you want to talk about?"

Lana smirked and walked up the stairs to the loft. He made room for her on the couch. She sat next to him. He had never been so close to her. She smelt so good, like vanilla and chamomile. He felt his stomach churn as his nerves rumbled inside him. His hairs stood up on his neck, and he felt every breath he took as if each one could cause his world to end if he was not careful. But he noticed, he did not feel as sick as he normally did around her. He tried to focus on what she was saying. After everything, he would hate to blow this because he could not keep his focus.

"What do you think makes a person?" he looked at her a little confused, "It's a weird question, I know, but I've been thinking about it lately. I mean, is a person their mind, their emotions, the company they keep? What defines who somebody is? What makes them different from the guy next to them?"

Clark thought about it. He felt like he was on a quiz show, at risk of being forced to leave with the wrong answer.

"I don't know…really. I mean, I guess it is different depending on the person. Maybe it is all of those things, and some others too. Have you ever read _Flipped_?"

She looked at him, surprised by the change of subject, "Um, yeah, a couple of years ago."

Clark smiled. Of course she had. He had known that. He had just forgotten. Seeing her read it had been the whole reason he had picked up the book in the first place. He smiled at the memory, "Well, remember that line, when Juli is talking to her dad, and he's painting, and he says that a picture is greater than the sum of its part?" Lana nodded, "I think it's like that. I don't think it's one of those things you can explain really."

"I guess not. It's just, not knowing who you are, what you want, who or what you're supposed to be…it gets frustrating."

"But who says there has to be a 'supposed to be?' "

Lana laughed. He was right, she knew. It had just always seemed like something that had to happen. It was like a part of life, knowing where you are going. She did not know where she got that idea.

"Maybe with all the labels out there, you feel like you need to find one that fits, or else you will get stuck with another."

Lana looked at him, "You can't read minds, can you?" she said with an edge of humor in her voice.

Clark laughed, "Is it so insane to think that there is somebody on the other side of the field who feels the same way you do. I mean, I have been terrified of being labeled inaccurately. Nobody wants to be seen as something they're not."

Lana nodded. Then, she felt a buzzing in her pocket. She took out her phone and checked the called ID, "It's Nell. Probably wondering where I am. I should go." She smiled at him as she made her way down the stairs, "Thanks for listening Clark." She said.

Clark shrugged sheepishly as if it was no big deal. He had no idea.


	7. Chapter Six

Chapter Six

Clark tried not to hyperventilate or pass out. Lana! Lang! Was! In! His! Loft! He could barely wrap his mind around the concept. Strike that, he could barely move. He had tried to act like it was nothing, but he was certain she could see how much he was sweating, and for a guy who could not feel heat, he could sweat a lot. His first thought was to call Chloe, but then he remembered, he was giving her space. He considered talking to his online friend, but she was not online now. So, he just collapsed on his couch. This had been the best day ever.

This had been the worst day ever. It was bad enough that he had not seen Lana all week because he had been exploring colleges, but now it turned out that his scholarship was going to fall through. Whitney sighed. It had been a long day.

"Hello?" Lana said.

"Hey." Came the voice on the other end.

"Whitney!" Lana responded, surprised. She felt a twinge of guilt. But why should she feel guilty, she had done nothing wrong.

"I miss you."

"I miss you too." Lana said. And she had. He had been gone all week and she had been lonely. But then, she had had her Internet friend, and Clark. Her and Clark were starting to become friends after that night in his loft. He was interesting, different. She liked being around him. She felt like her self, like he could see her clearly. Maybe it was because they were both adopted.

"I'm heading home. All I can think of is getting to see you." Lana smiled. Whitney was so sweet. He always had been.

Lana heard a beep on her computer. Her friend was online.

"I can't wait to see you either." She said, but one eye was on the computer. "When-when are you getting in?"

"A couple hours, but it will be pretty late. I don't want to wake you."

"That all right, I-" she looked at the computer again, "I have a feeling I'll still be up."

"Okay, I'll come over."

"Great." Lana said. They hung up and Lana went straight for her computer.

It had been a week since Lana had started to notice him, and Clark was getting a little better at it. He could talk to her without going completely insane or mute. It was amazing; it was like he was floating.

Chloe and he had made up, but things were not quite the same. She was always so cold towards him; it was like they spent time together in class or working on the paper, but they were not really like friends. She never acted like she was angry with him; she did not yell at him or anything. They just weren't…like they were. Clark really wanted a way to make it right, but he did not know how.

He saw Lana walking towards her locker…with Whitney. With all the time he had been spending thinking about Lana, and Chloe, and his email friend, he had almost forgotten that Whitney was coming back. He could not expect the guy to be gone forever. He could not help but wonder what this would mean. Would it change his friendship with Lana? He hoped not.

"Hey Clark." Lana said. Whitney was standing right next to her, his arm around her shoulder. She was leaning into him. Clark thought he was going to be sick.

"Hey." He said, smiling the biggest smile he could smile, which really was not that big at all. "Whitney, hey. Welcome back. How was Metropolis?" Clark noticed Whitney cringe a little at the question.

"It was great." He said, "Met U has an amazing campus."

Clark smiled. _Next year she is going to be dating a college guy. My life just keeps getting better._

"Well, I'll see you guys around I guess." Clark said. He ducked into the torch. Chloe wasn't there, which with how things had been going, was probably for the best, but there was a computer, which was all he needed.

"So, since when are you and Kent friends?" Whitney asked casually. It did not really bother him that Lana had a male friend, he rusted her, but he was a little surprised at the recent turn of events.

"He's a good guy, Whitney."

"Hey, I didn't say he wasn't." Whitney said, surprised by Lana's slightly accusatory tone. She has been acting strange ever since he got back last night, sort of distant and fidgety. Maybe she was mad at him for being gone so long. In high school relationships, a week can make a big difference. "Why don't we riding after school, just you and me?"

Lana thought for a moment. Her and her friend normally chatted after school. She should not choose him over plans with Whitney, but she could not just blow him off either.

"I have some homework to get out of the way first, but maybe after…" Lana said hopefully.

"Okay." He said, pecking her on the cheek. She watched him walk away. Lana had never lied to Whitney before. And why was she lying about something so trivial anyway? She had to do something, or else her world was going to start spinning out of control.


	8. Chapter Seven

So, email's will now be _**Bold Italics.**_ For chats, Porcelain will be underlined, _LadyLochness will be italics underlined_**,** **PermanentVisitor will be bold,** **The Infuriator will be bold underlined.**

Also, I just figured out how to divide the story up, so I am going to start doing that. Somebody suggested it in my crossover story. It was confusing. I know. I read it. It Confused me too. Anyway, enjoy.

Chapter Seven

Lana logged onto her computer. Sure enough, her friend had left her a message.

_**Dear Porcelain, **_

_** I have finally been getting to know this girl, the one I like, but now her boyfriend is back in town. I guess I always knew he would come back; I just did not want to think about it. I guess you cannot escape reality. Meanwhile, my friend is still treating me like nothing more than an employee and classmate. If I did not have you to talk to, I do not know what I would do. I would probably be in an asylum by now. Anyway, enough about me, how are you doing? How is that art project you are working on? I am sure it looks great, but how is it going? I hope you are enjoying it. I wish I could talk to you all the time. Everything always seems so right when we are talking. I am so thankful to have you in my life. I hope you feel the same way.**_

_**~PermanentVisitor**_

Lana read it again and again, savoring the words, even though she knew she should not. He was the only one she told about her project. She looked over at it, hidden in her closet. He had begged her to never ask his opinion. He said he knew nothing about art. But she knew, somehow, that he would think it was beautiful.

She could not talk to him right now, she knew. After reading that, it would be too hard to say what she needed to say. So, she did her homework, went riding with Whitney, had dinner, and got ready for bed. Then she sat down at her desk and turned on her computer. She logged onto chat, praying he was online. He was.

Hey.

**Hey. What's up.**

Not much, I got your email. I am so sorry things are going so badly for you.

**Hey, other people have it worse, right?**

Yeah, I guess so.

She waited a minute, trying to figure out exactly how to phrase it.

**Are you okay? You seem…quiet.**

I just…you know how we promised we wouldn't tell each other anything about who we are so that we don't rule the illusion?

**Yeah.**

Well, there's something about me I feel like I need to tell you.

She took a deep breath.

I have a boyfriend.

She waited. The Internet was quiet for a long time. Finally, she heard the bleep that meant he had sent something.

**Oh. That's nice.**

Well, he seemed fine with it. She honestly did not know if she was more relieved, or disappointed.

I know I should have said something sooner, but we agreed no personal details. I'm sorry.

**You shouldn't be. It really wasn't any of my business. **

** I have to go.**

Lana took a deep breath, reading the line that said PermanentVisitor has logged off. It seemed like he took it well, but what had she expected, him to be mad? They were just friends, and they had agreed not to tell each other anything. He was right, she had nothing to apologize for. Nothing, except the feeling that had been developing in her chest.

* * *

A boyfriend? He did not know how to react to that. He knew she was waiting for him to type something, but he was slightly in shock… which did not make any sense really. Why should it bother him that she was seeing somebody? As long as she was happy, right? Why did she tell him? It was not even his business. He opened up the letter he last sent her. It was a little intense, but that was just how they had grown to talk to each other. Maybe she thought he had feelings for her, and she was trying to let him down easy. Had he given that impression? He talked about Lana so much; he would be surprised if this girl thought he thought about her, or anyone,_ that _way.

But it did bother him, he knew that. Though why it bothered him remained a mystery.

He glanced at his computer. It had been a couple minutes since she had written that she had a boyfriend. He quickly typed out a response. It was pretty lame, but what else could he say. She started explaining like she felt guilty. It was a little odd. She had not done anything wrong. She must have felt like she was leading him on. Or maybe it was because she said honesty was so important to her. He quickly told her it was fine and that she had nothing to apologize for. Then he logged off. He did not know how to deal with this right now. His thoughts were too incoherent.

He closed his laptop and walked over to his telescope. Lana was, oddly enough, not on her porch. She was normally outside at this hour. All the lights in the house were out. Lana was almost always up for at least another hour. He was a little concerned…and beginning to wonder if he qualified as a stalker. But that was an issue for another time.

He went into the living room. His parents were already in bed, which was a good thing. No teenage boy wants a parent listening in on his calls to the girl next door. He took the phone of the hook and dialed her number. It rang a couple of times. Then he heard a click.

"Hello." He heard her say. She was there, and she did not sound like she had been sleeping. So why were the lights out?

"Hey. It's Clark."

"Clark, hey. Um, it's late." Her voice was low and shaky. Clark heard a sniffle, a swallow, and the sort of sigh that accompanies a forced smile. She sounded as though she had been crying.

"Yeah, I'm sorry, it's just, um, are you all right?"

"I'm fine. Why are you calling?"

"Actually, that was why. I had this, um … feeling that maybe something was wrong."

"No. Everything's fine. Thanks for calling."

"Are you sure, because you sound-"

"I sound what?" she said a little hostilely. Clark was slightly taken aback, "Sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. I guess I'm just tired."

"Do you maybe want to talk about it?"

There was a pause.

"No, I can't. I mean, you know, it's nothing."

"Lana?"

"Yeah."

"You know, there's nothing wrong with getting upset or even crying. Nobody expects you to be perfect."

"Everybody expects me to be perfect." She whispered.

"I don't."

There was another pause, "Thank you." She sounded like she was smiling, really smiling, not fake smiling like before. After another pause, she said, "Clark, do you think you're a good person?"

"Sure, I guess. I mean, you know, I try to be."

"What if you thought things or felt things that you just…shouldn't? Could you still be a good person?"

"There's nothing you shouldn't think, or feel. I mean, some thoughts or feelings are painful, and some are slightly sinful, but its what you do that matters. If somebody is bugging you and you wish you could shut them up, but you don't, it's okay."

"But thoughts and feelings can lead to mistakes."

"Maybe. But everybody screws up sometimes. That doesn't make you a good or bad person. And as far as I am concerned, you are the best person. And nothing you could think, feel, or do could ever change my mind about that."

Clark could not see it, or even hear it, but on the other end, Lana had started crying again. It was a different kind of crying though, a different kind of tears. She wiped her cheek with her hand, "Thank you Clark." She whispered. He heard what sounded like covers being pulled back and a mattress excepting the weight of a person.

"Goodnight Lana." He whispered.

"Goodnight Clark."


	9. Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight

There was a knock on the doorframe of the torch. Chloe looked up, closing her chat with The Infuriator.

"Can I come in?" Clark said, his eyes looking at her hopefully.

"Sure." She said, turning her head back to the computer.

He sat down in the seat across from her. She stared at her computer. In front of her, Clark placed a bouquet of flowers.

"Yellow roses mean friendship. Purple Hyacinths mean I'm sorry, please forgive me."

Chloe looked at him. She tired not to melt at the look he was giving her, "Forgive you for what?" she said, standing and walking over to the filing cabinet, pretending that she had to get something from it.

"Chloe, you are, without a doubt, my best friend. And I wish, so badly, that I was the kind of guy who felt comfortable opening up to people, especially the people who matter most to me. But I'm not. I can't. I try, but I get scared. You mean more to me that most anybody in my life, and I don't know what I'd do without your friendship. There are some things about me that might scare you off, and it's hard not to be afraid. These past few weeks, I have been going crazy not being able to talk to you. I need you, Chloe."

Chloe looked at him. "What about your online friend, I would think she could fill my shoes. And then there's Lana; you two have been pretty chummy lately."

"It's easier to talk to somebody who doesn't know who you are. There's less risk, less to lose, I guess. She's my friend, and I like talking to her. There are some things I feel more comfortable talking about with her than you, but the reverse is also true. There are some things I can't talk about with her that I can with you. And as far as Lana…you know how I feel about Lana. It's not the same. You will always be my best friend Chloe. Always."

After a very, very long minute, the longest of Clark's life, Chloe broke out into a smile. It was a classic Chloe Sullivan smile which he had not seen since their fight. God, he had missed that smile, "Tell me the truth, you didn't come up with that flower bit on your own, did you?"

"My mom... may have helped with that." Clark said, looking down.

Chloe chuckled, "I knew you weren't that clever."

* * *

It had been a long time since Lana had last talked to her friend, and she was getting a little nervous. What if, now that he knew she had a boyfriend, he did not want to talk to her anymore? She had been checking her computer every hour, and there were no messages left for her. And he was never online.

"Lana," she heard Nell call, "Whitney's here."

"Just a second." Lana said, checking herself in the mirror. It was habitual, every time she heard Whitney was nearby. The girlfriend role. Lana liked it, being defined by the fact that she was Whitney's girlfriend. She knew who she was when she was with Whitney; she knew what was expected of her. Or at least, she had, until recently. But everything was so confusing now. Now, she was somewhere she had never been. She was having feelings for a by she had never actually met. She was becoming friends with a boy she had known her whole life but for some reason had never talked to, and she was exploring interests that she actually enjoyed, as opposed to things she was simply told she had to like. Lana did not know who she was anymore. She did not know if she still knew how to be Whitney's girlfriend.

_

* * *

I am going to tell her. I have to._ Whitney thought. But as Lana walked down the stairs and he looked at her looking at him, he knew he just could not. What would this beautiful, amazing girl want with a guy who could not even go to college? He had no future to offer her anymore.

"Hey."

"Hi."

"You ready to go?" Lana nodded. Whitney took her hand, and she felt safe. But she did not feel what she had felt in the past when he had taken her hand. Something had changed. She had changed. And it scared her. And…it thrilled her.

* * *

Author's Note: Credit where credit is due. Information on meaning of flowers obtained from, well, it won't let me copy/paste the website, so here is the copyright.

* * *

© Copyright 1999 - 2011 Pioneer Thinking. All Rights Reserved Worldwide* tm; the property of Pioneer Thinking Company.


	10. Chapter Nine

Chapter Nine

"Hey, um, can I come in?" Lana asked. Since she and Clark had started hanging out, he basically always said it was all right for her to come over, but she still liked to ask.

"Yeah, of course." He said, not unexpectedly. He got up and paced around a little. "What's up?"

"I, uh, broke up with Whitney." Lana said. Clark looked at her in surprise. She actually was not sure why she had come, but Clark was her only real friend, and she felt like she needed to tell somebody. It had been a long, hard conversation, but she could not pretend that her feelings for Whitney were the same as they had once been. Whitney had thought she had found out about his problems getting a scholarship, but she had assured him that she had not known, and it would not have been the reason even if she had. She cared deeply for Whitney, and she still thought he was a great guy, but she was not the same girl she had been when they had started going out, and she had to figure some things out. They had agreed to try and be friends, after enough time had passed, of course. It was too raw now.

"Oh." Was all Clark said.

"Yeah, just a few hours ago actually. I went riding, and then, I needed to talk to somebody."

"Can I ask what happened? I mean, you guys always seemed so … "

"I know, but I've been going through so many changes lately, and my feelings for Whitney have changed. It wouldn't be fair to him to pretend they hadn't." Lana paused, wondering if she should tell Clark everything. She decided she trusted him; he was her friend, probably her best friend. "And, there was another reason." Clark waited, "There's somebody else. Somebody I've gotten to know recently, someone who, sees me, the real me, as I am, and still likes me."

Clark froze. His breath caught in his chest. Could she be talking about him? No, she couldn't be.

"And it's crazy, because we haven't even done anything. I mean, we have just talked, but I can tell him things. He is shy, and, okay, a little self-deprecating, but he is also sweet, and, smart, and a really good listener. He is the first person I want to tell when something good has happened in my life. And, I think I'm really falling for him."

Clark looked at her, trying to figure out if she was looking at him differently. Lana noticed.

"Are you all right? You're looking at me kind of funny."

"I'm fine." Clark chocked out. Recent friendship, only talking, self-deprecating, good listener, it sounded like him. She said this guy was the first person she wanted to tell when something happened, and he was the first person she was telling about her and Whitney. He needed to know. "Um, can I," he cleared his throat, "can I ask, who is he?"

"That's a bit of a … complicated question, Clark. I don't think I can answer it."

"Do you think I would tell him?"

"Of course not, I trust you completely." The words shocked her a little. She cleared her throat, "Besides, I don't think you _could_ tell him."

"Why not."

"It's hard to explain." Lana said. She looked at Clark, and he looked like he might pass out. She had not seen him look that green since they had started to become friends.

"Are you all right?" she asked, approaching him. He backed up a little. He did not know why he did it, it was sort of instinct. Lana looked a little hurt, but she tried to mask it. He stepped back to where he had been standing, closer to where she was now. He thanked god that she had not been wearing her necklace today. He smiled at her, awkwardly. Then, he reached for her hand. She let him take it, and looked up at him, confused. The next thing she knew, she felt his lips on hers. He was kissing her. At first, she seemed to be kissing him back, but then, she pulled away.

She looked at him, lost for words, "What?" she did not know what else to add to that, so the question was sort of empty.

Clark looked extremely uncomfortable, and, a little scared, "I wasn't … I thought that … I'm sorry."

"Did you think I meant-?"

"No … I just … I don't … I am so, so sorry."

Clark ran out of the barn, went inside the house, and super-sped to his bedroom. He flopped on top of his bed. Of course, she had not been talking about him. He was such an idiot. What had he between thinking? His online friend had encouraged him to be bold with Lana he was certain he had taken that advice too much to heart. He could never leave his room. His friendship with Lana was ruined. His life was over. What should be a happy day, the day Lana and Whitney finally split up, had been spoilt. And he had been the one who had spoilt it.

* * *

Lana stood there, frozen. Clark had thought she had meant him. Did he have feelings for her? Of course he did, nobody just runs around kissing people unless there are feelings. That is, unless they are promiscuous. But Clark was not like that. Had she led him on? Had she made him think there friendship was … oh god! What would happen to their friendship? She loved having Clark as a friend, and it had taken them so long to become friends in the first place. She did not want anything to screw up their friendship.

When Lana got home, she checked to see if she had any emails, and then went to bed. As she drifted off to sleep, she kept thinking about that kiss. It had caught her completely by surprise, but it had been, soft, and gentle, yet hungry. It was full of want for more, but also patience. It had said, I have wanted you for so long, but I respect you enough to go at your speed even though I am dying to devour you. It had been a nice kiss. And she thought about it, Clark's warm breath, the feel of his soft plump lips on hers. And when she finally fell asleep, she dreamt about it.

* * *

Clark groaned as he walked up the steps to school. One of the drawbacks of being invulnerable, you can never fake sick; your parents just will not buy it. He had been forced to go to school, and now he had to face Lana. And there she was, standing by her locker. He considered turning in the opposite direction, but he knew he would have to face her sooner or later.

"Hey." He said, awkwardly. Lana was placing some books in her locker. She turned to him.

"Hi." She said. He could tell from her expression that she was uncomfortable. He did not blame her.

"Um, look, about the other night. I just wanted to say I'm sorry."

"I kind of got that impression form the multiple apologies you made last night." Lana said, trying to lighten the mood.

Clark chuckled awkwardly. "I just. It was, a stupid thing. Obviously, I thought something, which I was incorrect about. But, the thing is, I really value our friendship, and I would never want to um… could we maybe, just pretend it never happened?"

Lana thought for a moment. She had known she would see Clark today, and she had tried to think of what she could say, but she had not been able to come up with anything. "After going over the conversation in my head, I can see why you would have thought like you did. I should have been more specific about the guy."

"No, I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions."

"Are we really going to argue about whose fault this was?" they both laughed, "Look, I value our friendship too. I don't want things to be …weird between us." She paused, thinking carefully, "But, I also don't want to hurt you."

"I thought you liked me, and, I guess that made me think I liked you. It's not like I'm sitting up night picturing church weddings or anything. It was a mistake."

Lana nodded, "All right. Well, I guess, there's no reason we can't pretend it never happened."

"Great. Um, so, see you around."

Lana nodded. Clark walked off. So, he did not like her; he had just been caught up in the moment. That was better. It was a relief. At least … it should have been. But for whatever reason, Lana found herself feeling, disappointed.

* * *

"Hey." Chloe said as Clark slumped into the Torch, "Why so down today?"

"Well, Lana broke up with Whitney." Clark said.

Chloe looked at him, surprised, "And that's bad because?"

"She broke up with him because of another guy."

So Clark thought Lana could finally be his because Whitney was out of the picture, and then a new guy came out of the woodwork. Chloe put on her best optimistic, cheering-up expression, "Well, maybe it's you. You guys have been hanging out a lot lately. It would make sense."

Clark chuckled, "Well, that's what I thought at first too, I mean, her description sounded like me, or at least how I've heard her describe me, but, based on her reaction when I kissed her, I'm fairly certain I was wrong."

Chloe's jaw dropped to the floor, "You want to run that last part by me one more time."

"I thought she meant me, and I did something … kind of stupid. And now, I've basically lost all chance with her, not that I ever really had one."

Chloe could not stand to see Clark so sad, "What if I told you I think I know who she likes."

Clark looked up, "Who?"

"You." She said. Clark shook his head, "I just told you-"

"Clark, she doesn't know. But it _is_ you."

Clark stared at her, completely dumbfounded, "I'm sorry, WHAT?"

Chloe bit her lip. He might hate her a little for what she had done, but it was time, "There's something I have to tell you."


	11. Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten

So, emails will now be _**Bold Italics.**_ For chats, Porcelain will be underlined, _LadyLochness will be italics underlined_**,** **PermanentVisitor will be bold,** **The Infuriator**** will be bold underlined.**

Clark was lying on his bed. He had tried to work on homework, but he was still reeling from what Chloe had told him. He had not been able to believe it at first, but Chloe had presented him with enough proof. He was a little miffed at her for invading his privacy, but he had recently discovered what it was like to not have Chloe in his life, and he did not think getting angry about what she did was worth the risk of losing her again.

Chloe had told him all he and Lana had said to her that had brought her to that conclusion, and pointed out all the similarities in the emails until Clark believed her.

* * *

He was still trying to wrap his mind around it when he heard a sound on his computer. She was online! He did not know what to do. Should he tell her? How would he explain knowing? Would it change anything if she knew it was just Clark Kent on the other end of the computer? He took a deep breath, and nervously approached the computer. He was grateful she could not see him through the computer; he did not want her to know how much he was shaking.

Hey.

She started with.

**Hey.**

He responded, still terrified.

I wanted to tell you something. I, um, broke up with my boyfriend.

Clark gulped.

**Okay. So, why tell me?**

I guess I was hoping you might want to know.

**What do you mean?**

Never mind.

There was a pause.

I just thought that maybe … maybe you felt something for me. We've been talking for so long, and I think maybe that there might be something between us. So, I broke up with him.

There was another pause

Could you please say something?

**I just … I don't know what to say. I've been trying to think of the right thing, but I just don't know what that is.**

Do you think there is something between us?

There was a long pause.

**I don't know that it matters.**

What do you mean?

** It's just, well, we don't actually know each other.**

Maybe not in the flesh, but you know more about me than pretty much anybody.

**Maybe the flesh thing is important.**

Are you saying you want to meet?

** No!**

** I mean, I don't think so. Not yet. I don't think it's the right time.**

All right. Then what are you saying?

**I don't know.**

And that was it, for now. The two of them logged off, both feeling incredibly confused. Clark knew it was Lana on the other end, but that just made everything all the more complicated. Lana liked him, but she did not like him, and he liked both of them, but neither of them knew who he was. Did he just like her because he now knew she was Lana, or had he already started to like her?

* * *

Lana sat back, also incredibly confused. Why wouldn't he give her a straight answer? She knew that sometimes you fall for people who don't feel the same, and she could learn to live with it if that was the case, but she needed to know. Had he always talked in so many circles? She looked back through all their old emails. For some reason, this one was different. He seemed uncomfortable. It was like all the trust they had built over the course of time had just disappeared. Lana sighed as she headed to bed. She found herself wanting to call Clark and talk it over with him, but she knew she could not do that, not now. _But why not?_ She thought. They had established that the kiss had meant nothing. Still, Lana felt that talking to Clark about this would be cruel, and painful for some reason. They were both still reeling from the kiss. It had been quite a kiss. Lana tried to think about something else. She did not want to think about that kiss, about the feel of Clark's lips on hers. As she closed her eyes, she felt his lips on hers, she smelt his cologne, felt his heart racing as he kissed her. She imagined the feel of running her hands through his soft, dark hair. She opened her eyes and shook her head. This was not right. Why did she keep thinking about it? The truth of the matter was, when it came to romance and love, she was just plain screwed up.

She sighed and headed downstairs for a drink. She got a cup, filled it with water, and sat there sipping and not thinking about Clark Kent.

* * *

The next day, Clark did not really know how to act. He guessed that he was going to feel that way for a while. He decided to go talk to Chloe, seeing as how she was the only one who knew what was going on and thus the only one he could trust for advice. He had to admit, she usually gave pretty good advice. However, he wondered if even Chloe could come up with something for this one.

"Just act like you did before." Chloe said as she walked over to the filing cabinet. It seemed like she was always going to the filing cabinet these days. She was anxious to work on a story that did required a little less hardcopy, but her hands were tied by the principle.

"I don't know if I can do that now. I mean, knowing that they are the same person … it changes things." Chloe waited for him to continue, "I just … Lana likes my alias, but only wants to be friends with me, and I like both her and her alias, but I know that they are the same person. She doesn't."

Chloe shrugged, "So tell her."

"I can't … look, she doesn't like me, she likes my cyber-self."

"Well, the only difference between him and you is the flesh thing, right?"

"No, I mean, yes, technically, but, there's more. When I didn't know who was on the other end, I was more, more …"

"Open?" Chloe finished for him. Clark nodded, "So try that. Show Lana the side of you that she fell for online."

"It's not that simple. Anonymity makes it a lot easier. I don't know if I can be that open with her in the flesh, or even online, now that I know who she is."

"Look. I know the whole, spilling your guts thing is scary, because somebody might judge what's inside, but the insides you showed her seemed to be what made her like you." Chloe paused, and Clark looked at her, "Okay, disturbing unintentional image. Sorry." Clark nodded and smiled, "All I'm saying is if all the things about yourself that you fear people will judge are the things that made her like you, it shouldn't be that scary."

"It shouldn't, but it still is." Clark took a deep breath, and Chloe waited, "Look, if I tell her that it's really me, I run the risk of her not liking me anymore because she knows who I am now."

"That is the most ridiculous thing I ever heard."

"Clark Kent isn't the guy she fell for."

"Maybe that's because she doesn't really know him. Look, Clark, I am going to be honest with you about something. I never really got why you were so into Lana. I mean, she's cute, and a cheerleader, but really, all you ever had was a crush on a girl you never talked to and didn't really know. Honestly, I never thought that there was anything … real there. Until recently, you two never even talked. You have carried a torch for her for so long, finding out this girl you fell for online can only make your life less complicated, but from Lana's perspective, you are still a friend she only made a couple weeks back. She got to know you online Clark; that is why she fell for you. She still does not really know Clark Kent, just … give her time."

Clark sighed. She was right.

"But if I don't tell her, and she finds out I knew, and I kept it a secret-"

"She'll understand. She's got to be pretty confused right now, breaking up with Whitney, falling for a mystery guy online, being kissed by her new male friend, it's a lot to deal with. Just, give her time."

"You keep saying that."

"It's the best advice I can give."

Clark smiled, "So, how are things going with that guy you met."

Chloe smiled when Clark brought up The Infuriator. "Good, I think. I mean, he's funny, and sweet, and we have a lot in common. He's a good listener, and he's patient. I like him. I can definitely see us as friends. Maybe more, but, in order to know that, I'd have to know if …"

"If…" Clark urged.

Chloe smiled, "Well, it's just that there's only so much you can get from online. In the end, you need to know if you … find each other attractive.'" Chloe said awkwardly.

"The flesh thing."

"Pretty much. I mean, I don't know. He's great on the computer, but in real life, I don't know."

"So find out." Clark said. Chloe smiled.

"Why don't we go back to dissecting your love life?" Chloe said.

"I'd think you'd be sick of that by now." Clark said, shooting her his classic Clark Kent smile.

* * *

After Clark left, Chloe logged into chat. The Infuriator was not online, so she left him a message.

_** Hey. It's me. I think we should meet.**_

_** ~LadyLochness**_

* * *

Lana saw that her friend was online. Her face lit up. After their last conversation, she was not sure if she was ever going to hear from him again.

Hey.

**Hi.**

I didn't know if I'd see you here for a while.

**Yeah?**

Well, we left things kind of weird.

**Ah.**

Really digging the one syllables right now, aren't you?

**Sorry. **

Still doing it.

**I know. Sorry.**

Well, I guess that's progress.

** Are you kidding, that was four whole syllables. That's more than progress.**

Funny.

**I don't want things to be weird between us.**

Me neither.

** I need to tell you something.**

Okay.

** Well, the truth is, I do have feelings for you, I actually really like you, but it's not the right time for us to do anything about it.**

Why is that?

**Things are … complicated, right now.**

What things?

He was really being very vague. Lana hated vague. Was there not enough stuff out there to confuse people without adding vagueness?

**Well, like I said, we don't really know each other, and we have aspects of our lives that complicate it.**

Is this about that girl you like?

**No. Well, sort of. It's hard to explain.**

I think I get the picture.

**I doubt that, I haven't given you enough of the puzzle pieces.**

Isn't that a mixed metaphor?

** I guess. Look, I want us to go on being friends, and get to know each other more, and when the time is right, we'll meet.**

What else do we have to know?

** How about some real details. For example, I live in Kansas.**

Me too.

**See, we don't know everything about each other.**

** I just think we should keep being friends for now … see what happens.**

Okay.

**Okay?**

Okay.

**Okay. Great. So…**

So, how's the writing going?

** I am incredibly pathetic and have no clue how you talked me into this.**

Lana laughed at that. The two of them kept "talking" until the wee hours of the night, and when Lana went to sleep, she felt strangely satisfied.


	12. Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven

Warning: While in this story, the characters were lucky in regard to their on-line pen pals, in real life it is extremely risky and dangerous to give personal information to somebody who you meet on-line. If you do make a friend on-line, never agree to meet them in person or give them any information that could give them the means to find you, i.e., where you live, a phone number, a name. People are not always who they say they are on-line, and no matter how well you think you know them, they could easily be a danger to you. This is a complete work of fiction, which is why I was able to provide these characters with safe results, but that will not always be the case.

Author's Note: Thank you to sailorgirl129 for her review. It was very nice.

* * *

Chloe sat down at the local café. She took a sip of her almond mocha and looked nervously at the clock on the wall. It was a minute before they agreed to meet, but she had been a little nervous, so she had gotten there twenty minutes early. Impatiently, she picked up her book again, and turned the page. She knew the whole thing basically by heart, she had read it so many times, but it was one of her favorites. In respect to their early conversations, they had agreed that she would have her copy of _Tales of The Weird and Unexplained_. He, they had agreed, would be wearing a bow-tie. It was a little goofy, but Chloe thought it would be a good way to identify him, and he had been happy to oblige.

"LadyLochness?" she heard a voice say. She looked up at him, and smiled. He was cute, in a quirky sort of way, and the bow-tie had definitely been a good call. It suited him.

"Infuriator." She said, confirmation in her voice.

He nodded, "Please, call me Jimmy, or, uh, James. Jimmy, James. Either is …uh, James Olsen." He said, sort of stumbling over his words as he put his hand out. He was nervous. It was cute, and it certainly made Chloe feel better about her own lack of composure, even if she was better at hiding it.

"Chloe Sullivan." She said, taking his hand. Before she sat back down, he pulled her chair back out for her. She smiled, "Thank you."

He nodded and took a seat, "You are welcome." He said, smiling as well. "So, how long have you been waiting?"

"Not long." She lied, "I, um, ordered already though. I hope that's okay."

"It's fine. That way, I can talk while you eat, you can talk while I eat, and nobody has to worry about choking … unless I make a joke." Chloe smiled. "So, tell me honestly, who were you expecting? Taller, shorter, my height? Brown hair, red, blonde?"

"I honestly didn't know what to expect." Chloe said with a chuckle.

"Disappointed?" he asked curiously.

She looked him over, "No, not at all." She started to unfold a napkin, "Are you?"

He smiled the most adorable smile, "Absolutely not." He said, in tone that had the same positive tone his emails had. Chloe smiled appreciatively.

"Thanks."

Jimmy shrugged, "I didn't make you breathtaking Chloe, I was just lucky enough to get to see you."

Chloe chuckled, "I bet you say that to all the girls."

"I'd think you'd know me well enough by now to know I'm not that kind of guy." He responded, still smiling, "If I pay you a compliment, it's because I mean it. It is not just a generic thing. You are breathtaking because of the way your smile reaches your whole face, from your wide, toothy grin, to how your eyes that squint and spread out on your face. And they sparkle, like there is so much joy in them. I may have only seen it a couple times now, but I feel incredibly lucky having gotten to see that smile, because it is the smile of a person who knows what it is to be truly happy. So, from now on, I'm going to dedicate myself to getting you to smile, because seeing a smile like that, it can make anything worth it."

Chloe sat, completely stunned, "You really do just come up with these things offhand, don't you?"

"I'm just being honest."

Chloe smiled, "I can respect that."

* * *

"Somebody's in a good mood," Clark said as Chloe made her way into The Torch offices, humming something he did not recognize.

She looked at him and smiled, "Yeah, I guess I am."

She heard a ping come from the computer, "Talking to Lana?"

"Shhh." Clark said, "Somebody could hear you. Lana could hear you."

"Clark, relax, okay. We have talked about this subject at length in this room, I hardly think my asking a simple question is going to blow your cover." Clark smiled apologetically, "Can I see?" she asked.

Clark shrugged. He did not want her to look, but he knew she did anyway, so why fight it.

Chloe read over what he had been writing and winced.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"What?"

"It's, it's nothing."

"Chloe!"

"It's just, you seem to be talking about a lot of personal stuff."

"So, I thought that was a good thing."

"For Clark, but if you want to compete with your cyber-self, you might want to consider spending a little less time at your computer, and spending more time saying this sort of stuff in person."

"I don't know if I can."

"Clark, regardless of what she knows, you know that both girls are Lana, and if you can say it to one, you can say it to the other. Lana is never going to start looking at you that way unless you let her see that side of you." Clark still looked unconvinced, "Clark, you love her, right?"

"Of course."

"Well then you have to do something about it."

"I cannot believe I am competing with myself."

Chloe laughed, "You created the situation. Now you have to work with what you have."

Lana put her books in her locker and started walking towards the front office. She had to leave early today for a dentist appointment.

* * *

"Lana!" she heard a voice behind her call. She turned to see Clark sprinting to catch up with her.

"Hi." She said.

"Hey." He responded as he started walking beside her.

"What's up?"

"Nothing." Clark said, shrugged casually. Lana nodded, "Hey, um, what are you doing after school?"

Lana froze, "Um, why?" she asked, a little uncomfortably.

"Well, I was wondering if you maybe wanted to hang out." The kiss flashed through her mind. Was he asking her out? As if reading her mind, he said, "Just, you know, as friends." Lana felt slightly relieved, and at the same time, slightly disappointed.

"Um, sure, why not." She said finally.

Clark looked relived, "Great, maybe around four, you can swing by the loft and we can, you know, talk?" he said a little nervously.

"Sounds great." Clark stared at her for a minute, "Um, so, I have to go."

"Right, yeah, sure." Clark said.

"But I'll see you tonight."

"Great."

"Great."


	13. Chapter Twelve

Warning: The following chapter contains a discussion of the book _Jane Eyre_ by Charlotte Brontë. For those of you who have not read the book, and do not like to have things spoiled, proceed with caution.

Chapter Twelve

Lana walked up the steps to the loft. She felt oddly nervous. It was not the first time she had come by to see Clark in his loft. So, what was with the butterflies? _Maybe it's because it's the first time he's asked me_, she thought. Clark had told her, more than once actually, that she had an open invitation to stop by any time, but he had never specifically invited her to come over at a specific time. The whole thing seemed slightly mysterious, although it should not. Friends invite friends to hang out all the time, don't they?

"Hey. Sorry I'm a little late. I had to go home and change." She was not actually sure why she had. What she had been wearing had been perfectly fine, but Clark had seen her in it earlier at school, and for some reason, a reason she did not understand, se had felt compelled to wear something different. So she had gone home, found something no more or less casual than what she had already been wearing, and changed. It was odd. She really had no clue why she had done it.

Clark turned to her and smiled that warm, comforting smile of his, "You're not late at all. I said _around_ four." Lana smiled.

"So," Lana said, climbing the steps, "What are you up to?"

"Well, I was trying to make my way through this. It I a lot better than I thought it would be."

He held up a book, _Jane Eyre_ by Charlotte Brontë, and Lana's eyes lit up, "That's one of my favorites."

Clark chuckled, "I'm not surprised." Lana looked at him, raising her eyebrow questioningly, "Well, I've seen you reading it. And whenever I tried to take it out of the school library, it was out. And you were almost always the person who had it."

"How did you know it was me?"

Clark shrugged, "Chloe. I asked her a couple times to find out who had it, and after a while I didn't have to ask."

Lana laughed, "So, you like it?"

"Yeah. I mean, it is not what I expected. My mom saw the movie, and she said it's a great love story, but so far, any love story would be pretty inappropriate considering the age of the characters."

"Everybody gets caught up in the love story, and some of the movie's start there. I guess they think that will make it sell better. Today, people are suckers for a good love story. Not that I do not love a good love story, of course, I mean, I do, but Jane Eyre is so much more than that. It is the story of who this girl is. The whole point of the book is watching this girl grow up, and finding where she ends up. Watching her find herself."

"I, uh, I haven't gotten that far yet. I'm only on chapter four."

"That's actually one of my favorite chapters."

"Yeah?"

Lana nodded, "There's this part, this speech, in the narration where…" she stopped, "I'm sorry. You might not be there yet."

"You mean the bit after Jane yells at Mrs. Reed, and then she feels all weird and guilty because she's a child who struck out at an adult?" Clark asked.

Lana stared at him, mystified, "How … how did you know that was the part I meant?"

Clark smiled sheepishly, "Well, I found that part really moving, in an eerie sort of way. I could relate to it; the way she always felt like she is not good enough, and if she stands up for herself, it only makes it worse because then she becomes the villain. You and I, we have a lot in common, so I sort of figured, maybe it moved you to." He held his breath and waited. It never would have occurred to him to say something like that before, not out loud, and especially not to Lana. But Chloe had said that if he wanted to win Lana's heart, he needed to be as open as he was in his emails. He just hoped she was right, because that was the most embarrassing thing he had ever said.

"Wow." Lana said. There was a tone in her voice he could not quite place. _Is that a good sign?_ He wondered. "Um, I think that's great, that you can relate to it so much."

"Really. I mean, it is kind of a tragic tale from what I can tell."

"Tragedy is only temporary. Take it from somebody who knows. I mean, you never get over it, not completely, but you learn from it. I'd like to think tragedy is the prequel, not the story."

Clark smiled, "So what's the story going to be?"

"I don't know. But it is going to be amazing. I guarantee it."


	14. Chapter Thirteen

Author's Note: This chapter is dedicated to sailorgirl129 for giving me the motivation I needed to put the proper oomph into this chapter. You would be surprised how far a review can go. Please enjoy.

Chapter Thirteen

Clark sat in the school library, working his way through Jane Eyre. He could certainly see why Lana would relate to it. It was a pretty intense book, but he was surprised by how much he was liking it, and the more he read, the more he liked. It had been a week since Lana had come to the loft. He had been avoiding the Internet like the plague. If he was going to give himself a chance, his cyber-self needed to be out of the picture, at least for a little while.

"Hey." He looked up at her voice. When had she come in? He was surprised he had not noticed; he had always been hyperaware of Lana's whereabouts. She seemed to notice his surprise at her sudden appearance. "Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you."

She started to walk away, but Clark bolted up anxiously, his face full of desperation, "No, you weren't, I … " he sat back down and tried to lower his voice an octave or two, "I was just surprised. You weren't bothering me. I'm never too busy for you."

Lana smiled gratefully, "I'm sure that's not true."

"I can't think of a time I wouldn't welcome your company."

"Well, I don't think you would want me there if you were trying to use the bathroom."

Clark thought for a minute, "I'd rush out." He said with a smile.

Lana laughed. "Well, what about sleeping?"

Clark shrugged. In truth, he had levitated in his sleep once or twice, so that did make him a little nervous, but having Lana's company while he slept was an appealing concept.

"Why would that bother me?"

"I might keep you up."

"I don't need a lot of sleep to function. I live on a farm, I get up with the crows." This was technically not true. Clark actually tended to sleep rather late, but he had had to function on little sleep on occasion, and he had been fine. Lana laughed, "Face it, you cannot find a way that I would want to get rid of you."

"Well, what about when you are taking a shower? I'm sure you wouldn't want me there then." Lana said. Then, realizing what she had just suggested, blushed. _Did I really just say that?_ She thought about that dream she had had about Clark, the one she had had after he had kissed her. In her mind's eye, she saw Clark shirtless, with water rippling down his muscles. She tried to blink the image away. She wished she could just distract herself by what Clark was saying, but he was just sitting there in silence, probably as uncomfortable as she was after her stupid comment. She stared at him, but the reality gave her no more solace than the image in her head. She felt herself getting a little woozy, needing a water. At the word water, her mind went straight back to Clark in the shower.

At the same time, Clark was thinking about what Lana had said. He had not noticed her blush; he had been too preoccupied with his own. In his mind, he saw himself stepping into the shower, and Lana was there waiting for him. She held the soap out to him, and he took it, brushing her fingers. He yelled at his mind to shut up, but the scene continued to play out. Lana was wearing a bikini. She turned the shower nozzle on and Clark watched as the drops drenched her hair and slithered down her body. She started to peel the bikini off. This was too much! Clark had to stop daydreaming! But hard as he tried, he could not seem to turn off the fantasy. The drenched Lana in his head winked at him and she started to strip him of his boxers. Then, she began to untie the bikini she was wearing and let it fall to the side, leaving her exposed. Clark watched as her newly bare skin became as drenched as the rest of her, and he felt himself getting hard, both the him in his fantasy, and the him sitting across from a fully dressed Lana in a school library. He felt dirty. He was disgusted with himself, thinking this now, here. His head started to feel warm. His eyes were burning. The Lana in his mind was coming close to him, placing his hands on her with her right hand as she slathered them each with soap using her left. Now Clark's eyes were stinging terribly. His head felt like he was on fire. He tried closing his eyes to cool them off, but that did not seem to help. He kept looking around, trying to find anything to relieve the burning pain. His eyes focused on a sign that said "Non-fiction." Then, after one huge burst of pain, he finally felt relief. It was short-lived however, because soon after the burning stopped, he heard screams. The spot he had been starring at was now on fire. Somehow, he knew he had been responsible, but he also knew he did not have time to focus on that now. He did his best to help usher everybody out as quickly as possible. Once everybody was out of the room, he took care of the fire.

* * *

Chloe had heard the commotion by the library, and never one to ignore commotion, she had made her way over. She saw a bunch of students and a couple of librarians huddled outside the library.

"What happened?" she asked one of the librarians.

"I don't know. The sign just … caught on fire."

_Interesting_, Chloe thought. She looked around and saw one of the librarians making a call, probably to the fire department. Then, she spotted Lana, who was looking around nervously. Despite their differences, Chloe decided to be friendly. After all, if things worked out with her and Clark, they would probably be seeing a lot of each other.

"Hey. You okay?" Chloe said, approaching Lana.

Lana nodded, then started shaking her head, "Clark was in there." She started to explain, "I didn't see him come out. I can't find him anywhere. What if-"

"Calm down." Chloe said, though she herself was freaking out a little. Clark was in there! He was still in the room with a fire! She was as terrified as Lana seemed to be, but right now, she did not think two panicking girls would make the situation any better.

The teachers started ushering kids out of the building, perking their ears for the sound of sirens.

"Miss Lang. Miss Sullivan." One of the teachers said, noticing the two were not moving.

"There's somebody still in the library." Chloe said.

The teachers eyes flickered with a sudden panic, but then it was gone, "We all need to evacuate now."

"But-"

"If there is somebody in there, I am sure the firemen will take care of it."

"They haven't even gotten here yet."

"You two standing there, putting yourselves in harms way as the fire spreads is not going to help. All you can do is get yourselves to safety."

"We can't leave without Clark." Lana said. Chloe was surprised by her resolution.

"I cannot knowingly leave two students behind."

"You were going to leave _one_." Chloe returned.

"Please girls!" the teacher said, desperation in her eyes.

* * *

Clark heard all the commotion outside. He did not hear what was being said, but he recognized Chloe and Lana's voices. The fire was out now; he had taken care of it. However, now that the danger was over and the adrenaline he had no clue what to do. How could he explain that he was fine and the fire was out? It had not been just a small flame, and it had been spreading. He could hear sirens; he knew somebody had called the firemen. What could he say? 'It was nothing, I handled it all on my own?' how could he explain that. And even if they believed him, how could he take credit for putting out a fire that he had somehow started? Well, whatever he was going to do, he had to come out eventually. Cautiously, he pushed the door open. Three heads turned towards him, Lana, Chloe, and Mrs. Millar. He saw relief on their faces. Chloe ran to him, giving him the biggest bear hug he had ever gotten. If he were not invulnerable, he was certain he would not be able to breath. Lana stood there, watching. Finally, Chloe let go, and Mrs. Millar ushered them all outside with the rest of the students.

* * *

It took a while to sort everything out with the firemen, who were rather confused by the whole thing, but they were grateful that everyone was okay, and thankful to Clark for his act of heroism.

* * *

Lana nervously tapped on the doorway to the loft.

"Hey." Clark said, looking up from his telescope. He was smiling, but it was a half smile. He seemed happy to see her, but there was definitely something on his mind.

"Everything okay?"

Clark nodded, "Yeah, just thinking."

"That was quite an act of heroism you pulled today."

Clark shrugged, "People keep saying that, but I don't feel like a hero." Lana looked at him, questioningly, "I mean, I didn't really do anything."

"You put yourself in harms way to protect others. What do you think a hero is?"

"I was never in any real danger … I mean, I knew what I was doing so … we've had small fires at the farm before. I knew how to handle. There was no risk."

There was a pause, "Well, I thought you were." Clark looked at her, "In danger." She clarified. "I didn't know if you'd be okay, if I'd ever see you again. It really scared me. Terrified me, actually, more than I thought it would. I don't remember the last time I was that afraid. I guess what I'm trying to say is, you mean a lot to me. I think you're probably my best friend, and I don't know what I would do if …" her voice trailed off, unable to say the words. A tear slid down her cheek.

"Hey," Clark said, approaching her. His voice was quiet and soothing, "I'm not going anywhere." He put his arms around her, pulling her into a hug. She leaned into his chest, and let herself cry.


	15. Chapter Fourteen

Author's Note: Sorry it took so long to post, but I was challenged to go over 2000 words, and I had to meet that challenge, which made it take a little longer. Aside from that, things have been a little chaotic here, life-wise. But enough about me. I would like to thank sailorgirl129 for his/her continual encouragement. You rock, and I love your reviews. You are so kind. I would also like to thank Hissori Dangan for his/her avid readership/reviewership of this story. Really, you guys motivate me to go on. Reviews are awesome, and hey help with writers block. I hope you like this chapter.

Disclaimer: Some lines may be borrowed from the show.

Chapter Fourteen

Chloe had been working hard on the story about the fire. It did not make any sense, but then, that was her specialty. She was trying to figure out how the fire started; most of the firefighters were stumped. It would be easier if her staff, i.e. Clark, were here, but between his recent Lana issues and his current hero status at the school, she could understand why he was not around. Besides, Clark was not really into the reporting; she knew he was only on the paper for her sake. While she appreciated that, it might be easier if she just worked this story on her own. In fact, considering how close he was to the story, she was probably better off without him. Still, it was a lot of work.

She heard a knock on the door to the Torch office.

"A little busy right now, Clark." Chloe said, without looking up. While she had been hoping for a little assistance, if Clark was here, he was looking for a friend, not an editor, and while she was always there for him, she did not have time for a pep talk right now.

"Um, whose Clark?" a familiar voice asked.

Chloe's eyes brightened, and she looked up, "Hey! What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Not happy to see me?" Jimmy said in mock-offense.

Chloe nudged him playfully, "Of course I'm happy to see you. It's just a surprise." After a pause, she added, "but a nice one."

"Good." Jimmy said, smiling, "And as for what I'm doing here, I came to ask you out on a proper date. Tonight. If you don't have any other plans, that is."

Chloe smiled, but then her face dropped, ""Jimmy, that really sounds nice…"

"But…"

"But we had a fire here the other day, and I'm trying to pin down the cause for the next issue. Sorry."

Jimmy looked a little disappointed, but he smiled, and shrugged, "No worries. Hey, why don't I pitch in? There's nothing I love more than a little good old-fashioned investigative work."

Chloe laughed, "Seriously?"

"Well, I mean, I haven't done much, but you gotta start somewhere. Besides, if it means I can spend time with my girl … I'm all for it."

"You're girl?"

"Well, aren't you?"

* * *

Meanwhile, Clark was getting the hero treatment and it would be an understatement to say that he was not entirely comfortable with it. All day, people were slapping him on the shoulder, telling him great job, and that he saved the school. His teachers were giving him special treatment, extensions on assignments, stuff he did not have to do, clapping and calling his name, all for putting out a fire that he started! He just wanted to get away from it all, needed to, in fact, but school was only halfway through, and while he was tardy more often than he wanted to admit, he had never skipped class. The way things were going with his teachers right now, they would probably let him get away with it, but taking advantages of the perks that were causing a guilty knot to form in his stomach was probably not going to help much. All he could do now was rush to his locker, get his books, and get to the solitude of The Torch before somebody could corner him again to thank him for his "heroic acts."

He felt somebody tap his shoulder and he jumped, "Wow, sorry. I didn't mean to startle you." He heard Lana's soft, deep voice and he relaxed a little.

"People have been hassling me all day about what happened with the fire." Clark said, smiling, "I thought you were another _admirer._"

Lana chuckled, "I take it the celebrity life isn't for you?"

"I definitely was not cut out for the spotlight." Clark said as he started to head towards The Torch office. Lana followed along next to him.

"Well, you could always were one of those fake noses with a mustache, or put on a mask, create a whole new identity for yourself." Lana said teasingly.

Clark shook his head, "I wore a mask for Halloween once, talk about uncomfortable."

Lana laughed, "Well, I guess we'll think of something." She said, opening The Torch door for him.

* * *

The first thing Clark noticed was the way Chloe was smiling. He was not sure why, but there was something different about it. It was a new smile for Chloe.

The next thing he noticed was the boy she was smiling at, and laughing with.

"Um, hi." Clark said, shyly, unsure of how to proceed. Chloe's facial expression shifted to one of surprise and maybe just the tiniest bit of guilt.

"Clark! Lana! Hey, um, guys, this is, this is, Jimmy." The boy, Jimmy, tipped an imaginary cap, "We, uh, met online." She said awkwardly.

For an eternal minute, there was silence. Online? So, this was the boy Chloe had been chatting with while he had been chatting with Lana. He had not known that they had actually met in person. Was that even safe? And what was with that weird look that had been on Chloe's face? He had never seen that look before.

Lana was the first to step forward, "Nice to meet you," she said, sticking out her hand. Jimmy took it.

Clark continued to stand in the doorway in shock.

"Clark?" Chloe asked, raising and eyebrow at him, "You coming in anytime soon?"

Clark did not move. He was still trying to search for words, but he felt frozen in shock. He did not really know why, he just felt … off.

"Excuse me." Chloe said. She walked past Jimmy and Lana and exited The Torch offices, pulling Clark along with her.

* * *

"So," Lana started, as she and Jimmy stood there awkwardly, "Are you from around here?"

Jimmy shook his head, "Nah, I'm just visiting. I'm from Metropolis, born and raised." He puffed his chest out proudly. Lana smiled, "So, um, you and Chloe are friends?"

"Sort of." Lana said, "Well, no, not really. I mean, we're classmates, and we know each other, but we're not really … close."

Jimmy nodded, "Too bad."

"Yeah, I think so too."

The stood in awkward silence again, "So, um, that Clark guy. He and Chloe are close?"

Jimmy tried to make it sound casual, but Lana could tell he was nervous about her answer.

"Yeah. They're best friends and they work on the paper together." Lana waited for him to respond. At first, he just nodded, clearly in thought.

Finally, he said, "So, do I have anything to worry about?"

Lana smiled, "They're just friends. Trust me."

* * *

As Lana and Jimmy were awkwardly getting to know each other, Chloe was out in the hall with Clark, trying to get to the bottom of his odd, antisocial behavior.

"What is with you?" she asked, trying to keep her voice low and her exasperation in check. She was successful on the first front, but not so successful on the second.

"I don't know … I just … " Clark trailed off. He really did not know why he had been so frozen, "I was just … surprised." He finally concluded.

"Yeah, well so was Lana, but she seemed able to keep her motor skills functional."

"I'm sorry."

"It isn't because we met online, is it? Because if it is, then I think you are being a bit of a hypocrite."

"That's not it. And even if it was, that is completely different. We know Lana. We know she's safe."

"But you didn't always know it was Lana. You still got pretty personal."

"I never arranged to meet her in person."

"You really expect me to believe you never would have?"

"I don't know, but … look, that was not the problem anyway."

"Then what was?" Clark did not answer. Chloe shook her head, "Sometimes, I just don't understand you."

"Yeah, well, sometimes … neither do I." Clark responded. Chloe burst out laughing. Clark soon joined her and the two quickly became hysterical. Chloe was having trouble breathing, and Clark pretended to be having the same problem. Eventually, they calmed down.

* * *

When Chloe and Clark returned to the newsroom, neither of them was sure what was going on, but Clark had promised to try again with Jimmy and that was the best either of them could do.

Clark went up to Jimmy and held out is hand, "I'm Clark." He said. Jimmy looked Clark up and down, and Clark could tell that Jimmy was feeling slightly inferior as he compared their difference in height and muscle, but he just smiled and said, "Wow, they grow um big in Kansas, don't they?" as he smiled good-naturedly. The smile was contagious, so Clark smiled in return, and Chloe smirked, observing the exchange.

"Jimmy was going to help me investigate the fire from yesterday." Chloe said, and she noticed Clark stiffen.

"What's to investigate?" he asked, "Everybody's okay. Isn't that what matters?"

"Yeah, unless it happens again. Something started that fire, and nobody knows what. How can you prevent something you don't understand?"

Clark shifted uncomfortably, "I guess I've just had enough of fires for a while."

Chloe nodded, sympathetically, "Okay, well, Jimmy and I can handle this alone. In fact, with all the teachers giving you special treatment, they would probably let you head home early if you don't want to be around this right now."

Clark considered. It was not the first time that the thought had occurred to him today. It was not the second time either, but he kept brushing it off. He knew he did not deserve it. Except that now Chloe was looking into the fire's origin, which just made everything worse. What if she found something? He could offer to help, and try and throw her off track, except he felt so guilty all ready because of all the special treatment he was getting, he did not want to add that to his conscience. Besides, there was no way they could trace it back to him. If anything, him being around increased the chances of them making a connection. He really did not want to take advantage of perks that he knew he did not deserve, but he really, really did not want to be here. Finally, he nodded.

* * *

Clark sat on the steps in front of the school. He was waiting for Lana, who had offered to go and take care of things for him. It seemed like he had been waiting forever. Finally, Lana came down the steps.

"Well, I talked to your teachers, and they were more than understanding. I'll bring you your homework assignments when the day is done."

Clark attempted a smile, but he had no luck.

"What's wrong?" Lana asked. Clark shrugged, "Is it Chloe's new friend? I know meeting people online isn't always safe, but Chloe's smart, and I think-"

Clark put up a hand to stop her, "No, it's not that. Jimmy seems like a nice guy."

"Then what is it?" Clark was silent, "Do you want to be alone?" Lana asked.

"No!" Clark said, and Lana could hear the desperation in his voice. Then quieter, but just as desperate, "No, I don't want to be alone."

"All right." Lana said. They sat there in silence for a long time. Lana waited patiently for Clark to tell her what he needed, and then, she just allowed herself to be there for him, even in silence.

"Lana," he finally whispered. They had been sitting there for forty-five minutes.

"Yes." She said.

"I'm no hero." She smiled. She wanted to argue, because he was a hero, she was surer of that than she had ever been of anything else. He had saved her, Chloe, and many other students and teachers. But somehow, she knew that that was not what he needed. So, she kept silent. After a minute, he spoke again, "Lana."

"Yes."

"What if … what if I started the fire?"


	16. Chapter Fifteen

Author's Note: I apologize that it has been so long since I have updated. At first, I was a little discouraged by my lack of feedback for the last few chapters. Then, I was just having trouble accessing some of my older documents. I had some trouble with Word, and I could only access my newer stories, which is why I kept updating them and not my older stuff. I am sure a few of you were a little worried that I was dropping this story, but don't worry. When I signed up for , I made a promise to my self that if I put a story out there, I would finish it. I know what it's like to be reading a fanfiction, and then find out that the author never plans to finish it. It can be devastating, and it often happens just when the story id getting good. Anyway, my Word problem is fixed, so it's full steam ahead. Please review though; your feedback helps recharge my writing juices. Enjoy, and have a nice day.

Chapter Fifteen

Lana nervously approached the loft. Clark was at his usual spot, starring through his telescope.

For a while, she stood there, trying to get the courage to speak. Finally, she took a deep breath and said, "Hey."

Clark turned and, as he often did when she came to visit him in the loft, stood, "Hi," he said awkwardly, "Um, what's up?"

Lana looked at him, trying to decide how to respond, "Well, I haven't seen you since … earlier." Clark did not respond, "On the steps, when you said, well, you know, that you thought you-"

"Yeah, listen, about that. I was just … all this hero stuff was kind of fogging up my head, and I was feeling kind of guilty. Because I really didn't do anything, you know."

"You said you did something."

"That was just, you know, the head thing." Clark said, turning back to his telescope, not facing her.

"No, it wasn't. Clark, I saw the fear in your eyes."

"I was overwhelmed." Clark said quickly, still not looking at her.

"It was more than that." Lana put her hand comfortingly on his shoulder. Clark felt a tingle. "You can talk to me Clark. I'm your friend."

Clark gulped, "I know you are. And you're a good friend. And you have no clue how much your friendship means to me, but this, it's something I have to figure out on my own."

"I don't like seeing you like this."

"Like what exactly?" _like a monstrous firestarter? _He wondered.

"Scared. Miserable. Alone. Clark, I know what it's like to feel you have nobody to turn to-"

"This isn't the same-"

"I know it's not. But I can see how much you're hurting, and I want to help. I want you to know that I'm here for you."

"Even if it was my fault? Even if I started the fire? What if I was dangerous, Lana? Would you still want to be around me? Would you still be here trying to comfort me?" he was yelling now. He did not know why. None of this was Lana's fault, but he just couldn't seem to help it.

Lana walked in front of Clark, facing him. She looked up at him. Her eyes were full of determination, and warmth. The way she was looking at him made Clark's breath catch in his throat, "Yes," she said, "I would." He felt hypnotized, looking down at her. His heart was beating faster than it ever had. She was standing so close to him he could feel her breath, smell her perfume. It made his skin dance.

Lana felt as though she was under a similar spell. Standing there, looking up at Clark. She had never felt like this before. Her head seemed empty of everything, every thought but this moment. She felt herself gulp. Her heartbeat and her breath both quickened. She could not break eye contact. He was holding her there. She could not move, except forward.

Clark did not even notice himself leaning forward, or her moving up to meet him. Everything was foggy with perfume and warm breath. He saw her lips, full, and pink, and knew they were approaching his own. Then, suddenly, his head began to feel warm.

Quickly, without thinking, he jerked away. The spell was broken, Lana looked at him, confusion etched all across her face.

"You need to go!" he said, urgency in his voice.

"What?"

"Now. You have to go! Now!" Lana eyed him suspiciously, then, reluctantly, began making her way towards the door.

She was not going fast enough. Clark could feel it coming. He put his hand behind her back and started to rush her. He felt a thrill in his hand at the feel of her back, and tried his best to ignore it. He did not have to for long though, because Lana stepped out of his grasp.

"What are you doing?" she sounded agitated.

"I told you to go _now_! Not dawdle by the door!"

"Well, I'm sorry if I'm not moving fast enough for you!" she responded. She was angry now. Clark could hear it, but there was nothing he could do about it. For her own safety, he needed to get her out of this barn. Even if it meant she would hate him. Even if it meant they had to go back to square one. Even if it meant she would never look at him like that again. He just needed to make her safe.

"Look, if you don't get out of here right now, I'll…" of all the times to have your mind go blank.

"You'll what?" Lana asked, challenging him. She had folded her arms and was approaching him, meaning coming deeper into the barn. This was moving in the opposite of the right direction.

Clark looked at her, desperate now, "Please." He said. She could see the anxiety in his eyes.

Finally, she nodded. She was not sure why, and she knew she was still pissed at him, but somehow, she knew that she had to leave. So she did.

* * *

Clark ran to the kitchen, opened the freezer, and put and icepack up to his head. He seemed to have cooled down a little already, but he wanted to be sure.

His mind was racing with so many questions. Had Lana almost kissed him? Did she like him? If she had liked him, did she hate him now? Had he blown it? Had the almost kissing been what caused his brain to feel like he might start a fire? Did this mean he could never kiss a girl? Did it mean he could never have a relationship? He wanted to talk to somebody, but who could he talk to? Who could possibly understand? How could he explain without actually explaining? Then, it hit him. He could talk to Lana, or rather Porcelain.

He ran back to the barn and turned on his computer. Sure enough, she was online.

**Hey.**

He wrote

Hey.

She responded

It's good to hear from you … so to speak.

Clark laughed

**So, what's on your mind? Or should I go first?**

Lana thought. She wanted to talk to someone, but for some reason, she was not sure she could talk to her friend about Clark. She had feelings for her friend. She knew that; she had even told him so. But what had just happened with Clark …it was just to confusing.

You go.

She wrote.

Clark took a deep breath.

** Okay, so, what would you do if you find out you have a unique…**

Clark thought for a minute, searching for what word he could use.

** ...talent?**

He finally wrote. It was not really how he looked at what was happening to him, but he did not know what else he could put.

What do you mean?

Clark thought.

**Well say you can do something nobody else can. **

I guess I'd be proud. I always wanted two be really good at something.

Clark sighed

**No, it's not like that. It's not a good thing. What if you could do something, bad, dangerous, scary? And you did not know why. What if this thing you did was not something you did on purpose? It was not something you could control. It just sort of … happened, and you caused it and you cannot explain it to anybody else because you don't even understand it yourself, but you know you can't stop it?**

Lana stared at what he had written. What could he mean?

I don't really understand.

Clark thought a moment.

** Okay, like, say you were doing things in your sleep, and you have no control, because you are sleepwalking, but you are doing things that could hurt people, and you cannot stop yourself from doing it.**

Well, I think they have sleep studies for people like that. Why, do you sleep walk?

** Not exactly, it is just the best thing I can think of to explain it to you?**

You could just tell me what's really going on.

** I want to, but, we're on the Internet, it is not exactly the most private place in the world.**

You've told me private things before.

** This is different.**

Why?

** Because, I don't want you to be scared of me.**

Clark could not believe he had actually written that. He had been thinking it, and then suddenly, he saw the words on the screen, and he felt himself touch send.

There was a pause, and Clark knew Lana was thinking over what he had just written, trying to decipher it.

**Forget I wrote that, okay?**

It's a little hard to forget.

**Please. Look, let's just talk about what's going on with you.**

Lana sat back. When she had gotten on, she had wanted nothing more then to vent, but after what he had written, she had almost forgotten the whole thing.

Why do you think I would be scared of you?

**Can we please just change the subject?**

Hey, don't dip your toes in the water if you aren't prepared to go for a swim.

Clark stared at the screen for a minute, trying to think.

**Well, let's just say that I'm not exactly … normal.**

Who is?

** Okay, point taken, but I don't just mean high school abnormal, I mean…**

** Look, I really want to tell you this, I do, but if somebody ever hacked this account…**

Do you really think that is going to happen?

** I can't risk it.**

Okay, well, then why don't we try to talk in person?

** I'm not ready for that. I wish I were. I wish I was ready to stop hiding behind a fake name on the Internet, but I'm just … not.**

Well, then what do you suggest?

Clark thought for a minute.

**What about if I left you a note somewhere? Like in those spy movies, where they hide notes in pre-decided on places, and the other person casually picks it up.**

So, you're a spy now.

** Now, I just have way too much free time after school.**

Lana laughed.

Okay, well, if we are going to do this, we needed to reveal a little bit of person information. i.e., where we live. A drop off point is impossible if we are not near each other.

Clark knew he had to be the one to make the first move. It was the only option.

** Okay. I live in Smallville, Kansas.**

Lana sat back, stunned. She squinted to make sure she read it right. This guy, assuming he was telling the truth. Lived in her town. Went to her school. She might even know him.

Me too.

Was all she could get herself to write.

**Wow. That's one hell of a coincidence.**

Yeah

**Well, I guess it makes things easier.**

He waited a minute for things to sink in for her.

**In an earlier email, you said you visit your parents' graves a lot.**

Lana nodded, and then remembered he could not see her.

That's true

** Okay, well, that would be Smallville cemetery then, right?**

Yes.

**Okay, so, how about tomorrow night, I leave a note by the angel statue in the west hemisphere?**

You sound like you know the grounds pretty well.

**After you mentioned it, I realized it would be a good place to go if you felt the need to get away. I've spent a few nights there.**

I'm surprised we haven't bumped into each other.

** So, you game.**

Lana thought for a minute.

I'm game.

* * *

That night, Clark watched as Lana rode up with her horse. He stood quietly, hidden by the shadows and the trees. He had been there for a while now, carefully guarding his note from all eyes but hers. She went up to the angel, leaned down, and picked up them most terrifying thing he had ever written to her. He wanted to watch he face as she read it, but she did not open the envelope. She just shoved it in her jacket, and left.

* * *

Lana had been dying to open the note, but she knew she had to be cautious. Her friend had trusted her with some secret that was obviously a very big deal to him. She could not betray that trust. She waited until she was in the privacy of her own room, shut the door, locked it, and carefully opened the envelope. She read the sentences again and again, trying to make sense of it, to let it sink in, but she did not know how.

"I am not exactly human." It read, "I have abilities, things I can do, that normal people cannot. I cannot control them, and I do not understand them, but they terrify me. I would not blame you if they terrify you. The things I can do, they are pretty terrifying."


	17. Chapter Sixteen

Author's Note: Hello. I am sorry that it has taken so long for me to update. Thank you to Trinity - the bitch is back, for your words of encouragement. It had been a while since I had updated any of my stories, and I knew people had been missing them, so I have tried to focus first on the ones that have had recent 'When are you updating?' reviews. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I am not abandoning this story. I am sorry it has been so long. Have a nice day.

Chapter Sixteen

"Clark's not here." Lana jumped. She had been examining Chloe's wall, a collage of oddities that happened in Smallville.

"I wasn't … I was just, um, admiring your wall here."

"You can say it's a crazy theory if you want. Everybody does. It only makes me more determined anyway."

Lana chuckled, "Actually, I think it's kind of interesting. You are always writing about this stuff, how the meteor shower can change people. Make them … different." She paused, "Do you really believe it's possible? That people could have abilities?"

"I think I've made it pretty clear that I do."

Lana smiled awkwardly, "All these ones up here, they seem kind of … dangerous."

"Well, yeah, you don't make a front page for petting puppies … unless its some lame puff piece on celebrity charities, and even then, you need to be famous first. Sad world, isn't it?"

Lana nodded, "But, do you think they're all…" she paused, considering her phrasing.

"All what?"

"It's just, they can't all be bad, can they. Just because they can do things we can't."

"Well, sure, I'm sure there are some harmless ones out there who just want to be left alone to live ordinary lives. But they would probably fly a little more under the radar. And it's not as though I would be seeking them out. The abilities are not what make the story, at least not after the first ten or so. It's what they do with the powers that matters."

Lana nodded, "So, somebody could be like this," she motioned to the wall, "and still be a good person."

"I can't see why not. I mean, I've never met anybody quite like that, but it would be nice to know that they aren't all psychotic."

"How is it even possible, that they can do these things?"

"Well, the mutations are connected to the meteor rocks. Prolonged exposure to the unique meteor fragments you find in Smallville under the right, or wrong, depending on your perspective, circumstances, can cause mutations."

"Mutations," Lana asked, somewhat skeptically, "Like X-Men."

Chloe laughed, "Well, not exactly. But, similar concept, yeah."

"And you've seen people do things like this?"

"I've almost been killed by people who can do things like this." Lana nodded. "Why the sudden curiosity?"

Lana shrugged.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" both girls started at the intrusion.

"Hi Clark." Lana said, feeling slightly awkward.

"Hey."

"Lana was just asking about the wall." Chloe said.

Clark swallowed nervously. His eyes flitted from Lana, to the wall, to Chloe, and then back to Lana, "Re-uh-Really?"

"Yeah, surprised me too."

Clark chuckled uncomfortably, "So, what do you think?" he asked, turning to Lana.

"It's an interesting theory. Kind of hard to believe, but … I don't know. It might be true."

"And, and how would you feel about that? If it was true, I mean?"

Lana examined Clark's face. He was trying to act casual, but something in his eyes was utterly and completely terrified.

"Well, I don't really know. It's a lot to take in."

"But you must have had a gut reaction of some kind?"

"Well, like I said, it is a little fantastic, but if I were to take it as fact, I guess I might be a bit scared."

Clark's face fell slightly, but he did his best to paste on a fake smile, "Oh." Was all he said, but Lana heard a lot of disappointment behind that simple 'oh.' She decided to elaborate.

"I mean, its bad enough to have criminals out there with revolvers or semiautomatics, but add in abilities."

"Sure, but, not everyone with abilities is a criminal."

"I know. In fact, Chloe and I were just talking about that, and while it's a little weird and freaky, I have nothing against those people. It's the ones who _are_ criminals that scare me."

Clark smiled a little. It was weak, and his eyes were clearly concerned, but he had smiled, and that was enough.

"Look, as much as I'd love to debate ethics, prejudice, and X-Men for the rest of the day, I need to get home. I'll see you guys around, okay? Oh, and Chloe, thanks, for answering my questions."

After Lana left, Clark turned to Chloe, "She was asking you questions?"

"Yeah."

"Like what?"

"Nothing really. Just the standard. Did I really believe this stuff? How exactly was it possible? Oh, she also asked if I thought there were any out there who were good people."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I thought it was weird too." Chloe replied with a shrug.

Clark however, did not find it weird. In fact, he knew exactly why the questions had been asked, and he could not help but smile at what it might mean.

* * *

That night, Lana sat up thinking. It was all so strange, the idea of abilities. And all of the ones on Chloe's wall seemed so … dangerous. It would be so easy to walk away from this.

But she couldn't. In spite of herself, she still cared about her friend. And now she knew that he needed her, maybe more than he ever had.

Hey.

She typed nervously.

I got your note

**And you're here. That's a good sign.**

I just want you to know, what you told me, it doesn't change anything.

**I find that hard to believe.**

Well, no. I mean, it changes a lot, but it doesn't change how I feel about you.

He didn't respond right away.

Are you still there?

**Yeah, I was just making sure I read that right.**

Oh.

**Are you sure?**

Yes. I've given it a lot of thought, and I think of come to know you well enough to know that whatever advantages you have at your disposal, you would never hurt anybody.

**Maybe not intentionally, but, what if I don't have complete control over it?**

Then you just need to work on it. Practice.

**Funny, that's what my parents said.**

You're parents know?

**Yeah, well, its kind of hard for it not to come out when you've been this way pretty much your whole life. I may be adopted, but a three year old does not know enough to hide these sorts of things.**

I guess not.

Hey, can I ask you something?

**Sure.**

Well, you're an orphan from Smallville, and I was just wondering … did your parents die in the meteor shower? I mean, you don't have to say if you don't want to, but, it just occurred to me I guess. And I was wondering.

It took him a minute to answer.

**I don't know. Maybe.**

Oh, right. I forgot that you don't know. I'm sorry.

For what it's worth, that's how mine died. Everybody around here knows that. I kind of liked that you didn't, at least for a while.

And I just realized I gave you a huge clue to who I am.

**Can I tell you a secret?**

Sure. Though I can't think you'd have a bigger secret than the one you told me.

**I actually already knew who you were. I figured it out a long time ago.**

WHAT?

**Yeah. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I was afraid if I did, it would ruin this. And I didn't want to lose you.**

Well, can you tell me who you are?

**Soon.**

Can't you at least give me a hint?

**You have as much information about me as did about you. More by now. You're smart. You'll figure it out. **


	18. Chapter Seventeen

Author's Note: Hi. Sorry for the wait, as well as the shortness of the chapter. As I am sure you can tell, the story is approaching the climax, and I've been struggling a little with tying everything together. I hope you like the chapter. Reviews are always appreciated. Have a nice day.

Chapter Seventeen

Lana had been sitting at her computer for the past thirty minutes. Ever since their last conversation, Lana had spent a little time everyday after school coming through all the emails she and her friend had sent one another. He said he had given her clues; she just needed to find them. She felt very lucky that she had decided to save the chats.

"'_I am not too good at talking to girls. Or, anybody really.'__ 'You're the shy type?'__"_

Clue #1: He's shy/Not good at talking to girls

"_I live on a farm, and was raised to believe in the very values you mentioned, though I doubt your apple pie could hold a candle to my mothers"_

Clue #2: Grew up on a farm

Clue #3: Mom bakes

Clue #4: Comes from a home of strong values

"_I do not have anybody I can completely trust, except maybe my parents, but there are things I cannot talk to them about. I get so confused sometimes, and curious, and _lonely."

Clue #5: Trusts parents

Clue #6: Confused, Curious, Lonely

"_-my friend was pushy and persuasive and thinks I need a life and other friends, yes, I have trouble talking to girls, yes, I have only one friend-"_

Clue #7: Has pushy/persuasive friend

Clue #8: Is only friend

" 'So, you're adopted.' 'Yeah.' "

Clue #9: Adopted

" '_Do you remember your parents?' '__No. I never even knew their names."_

Clue #10: Does not know identity of biological parents or have any memories of them

"_-__have the best parents I could ever ask for.__"_

Clue #11: Close with parents

Clue #12: Has both parents

"_I'm not the most observant. Or so I've been told anyway.__"_

Clue #13: Apparently fairly oblivious according to those who know him well

"_My friend talked me into it. __**She **__seemed to think I was way too lonely."_

Clue #14: Best/Only friend is female

"_Just a friend. Of course. I do not think of her like that."_

Clue #15: Relationship with female best friend completely platonic

There was knock on Lana's bedroom door. She looked up to see Clark standing in the threshold. Quickly, she saved and closed the file, then smiled at him.

"Hey."

Clark smiled at her nervously, "Hey. You're aunt said you were up here working on homework. Is it okay if I come in?"

Lana smiled. That was Clark; he was always so nervous about offending people, "Of course. Entrer."

Clark smiled shyly, took a few steps forward, and looked around, standing with his hands in his pockets, "So … this is your room, huh?"

"This is it."

"It's nice."

Lana nodded gratefully, "I've always liked it."

Clark chuckled, "Listen, I know we haven't really talked, at least not alone, since …" he trailed off.

"It's okay."

Clark looked up at her, surprised, "Really?"

Lana shrugged. She motioned for him to sit, and he took a seat on her bed, "I don't know what's going on with you, but I'm you're friend, and as much as I wish you felt you could talk to me, if you're not comfortable doing that-"

"It's not that I don't want to. It's just … hard." Lana nodded. The two were silent for a moment. "So, what are you working on?" Clark asked, breaking the silence.

"Nothing. Just a … private project."

"Can I help?"

Lana shook her head, "I don't think so. It's kind of a secret." She tried to read Clark's reaction, but it was hard. Sometimes, he was so obvious about what he was thinking or feeling, but other times …

"Honestly, I wish you could. I mean, if it were just about me, I would definitely tell you. It's just that it isn't my secret to tell."

Clark smiled, "Whoever this person is, they're pretty lucky to have someone they can trust like that."

Lana smiled, "You can trust me too Clark. I wish you knew that. I'm actually pretty good with secrets."

"I think I'm figuring that out." He wore a very odd smile just then.

"What?"

"What?"

Lana started laughing, "What are you smiling like that about?"

"I don't know." Clark said with a shrug, "Maybe it's nice to know you would trust _me_ with a secret."

She was not sure that was all it was, but she decided to let it be, "Of course. I trust you. I told you that."

"Already? I mean, we've only been hanging out a few months."

"What, you don't want me to trust you?" Clark shook his head nervously, but then Lana smiled, and he relaxed, "Some people, it takes a long time to trust, but you … when I told you I trusted you completely, I hadn't meant to say it. It just sort of slipped out without me thinking. However, after I said it, I guess I realized it was true. Some where along the way, between loft powwows, library study sessions, and late night phone calls, you went from being the neighbor I barely knew to one of the most important people in my life. There are very few people who I feel like … like they really know me. The real me. But you, I know you see me, and it doesn't make you like me any less."

"How could it? You're Lana."

She chuckled, "You say that like being Lana has some great meaning."

"It does to me."

Lana smiled, "Clark," she started, her voice suddenly very serious, "What really happened that night?"

"Um, what do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. Why did you want me to leave?"

"I …" Clark started, then stopped. How could he possibly explain?

"Well, that clears it up." Lana said, rolling her eyes.

"I'm sorry. I just can't."

Lana nodded, "Okay. Tell me this then. Did you trying to get me to leave have anything to do with what almost happened?"

"What, um, what almost happened?" Clark asked, chuckling nervously.

"Clark." She said it quietly, but the frustration was plain in her voice. He didn't say anything, "I'm not sure what almost happened exactly. That's what I've been trying to figure out. And it would be a lot easier if you were willing to talk about it."

"I want to, I'm just not sure … that is, what do you think almost happened?"

Lana sighed, "Well, before you freaked out and started pushing me to leave, it seemed like we were going to, that is, we almost …" she trailed off.

"I'm not really good at this sort of thing Lana."

"And you think I am, as I keep trailing off and struggling for words. These conversations aren't easy to have, but … but they need to happen. Something almost happened, and we can't just ignore it and pretend it didn't." She got out of her chair and sat down next to him, "I don't _want_ to pretend it didn't."

And suddenly, they were kissing. Neither one was sure who had started it, but it did not really matter. It was amazing, like coming home. It felt safe, warm, but at the same time, there was a spark, like a million fireworks going off at the same time. It felt right. Everything else just melted away: the anger, the confusion. All that remained was her and him, and that one kiss.

* * *

"You promise not to laugh?" Chloe asked.

Jimmy nodded.

"Okay." Her smiled grew big. She had been bursting to tell her theory anyway, and it was not as though her theories had never been laughed at before, but… "So, there is no explanation for the fire as far as faulty wiring of the like. Nothing was wrong in the room; nothing was firehazardy. So, I figure the only way that fire could have started would be if somebody started it."

"So, you're school had a pyromaniac?"

Chloe shrugged, "I'm not sure, but I plan to find out." Her eyes gleamed mischievously.

* * *

It was late when Lana got his message. He wanted her to come to the cemetery again. He wanted to show her something. She rode up and dismounted next to her parents' grave. This time, she did not have to wait long. A gust of wind passed in front of her, and a note was dropped at her feet.

It said 'Hi.' And nothing else.

"Hello!" Lana called out, confused.

There was another gust of wind, and another piece of paper fell at her feet: 'I'm glad you came. Tear these up after you read them.'

"What's …"

Another gust. Another note.

'I wanted to show you one of my, well, the things I can do. I can run. Fast. Faster than the eye can see, if I try hard enough. Ask questions if you like. I'm here to answer. Just tear them up when you are done.'

Lana thought for a minute, or at least, a minute _after_ the shock subsided. _Ask questions? Well, all right then_.

"What else can you do?"

Gust. Note.

'I can see through solid objects. I can control it though, so do not worry. I would never use it to violate somebody's privacy. I can also hear really well, like if somebody is whispering two rooms away. But I have to concentrate. Oh, and I'm strong. I would say how strong, but you probably wouldn't believe me.'

Lana chuckled, "I don't know. I think at this point, my skepticism has taken a permanent vacation!"

Gust. Note.

'Okay. I can bend steel, with my bare hands. I can lift a truck over my head. When I was little, I used to break stuff by accident all the time. My folks didn't know what to do with me.'

Lana laughed again.

Gust. Note.

'You are taking this very well. I am grateful for that.'

Lana nodded, "You're my friend. I trust you. I'm certainly not going to abandon you when you really need me." There was no gust this time, "Are you still there?"

Gust. Note.

'Yes. I just didn't know if you were done.'

Lana smiled, relieved, "I have one more question. That is, I might have others, but right now, I just want to know, well, when do I get to know who you are?"

Gust. Note.

'I thought you were working on that'

"I am, but as much as I appreciate people letting me figure things out for myself, in this case, I think it would be a lot easier if you just told me."

Gust. Note.

'Soon. If you can't figure it out first, soon. But not just yet.'

"May I ask why?"

Gust. Note.

'It's just not the right time yet. I need to be sure first.'

"Sure of what?"

Gust. Note.

'I have to go. Thanks for coming.'

"Hello!" Nothing. Lana remounted her horse, and headed home, feeling more confused than ever.


	19. Author's Note

Author's Note:

Hello.

So, I know it has been a really long time since I have updated, and I apologize for that.

I have a lot of stories going right now, and it can be hard to keep track sometimes, plus sometimes there is writers block, and also life, which unfortunately gets in the way of fan fictions which we all know are more important.

I wanted to assure all of you that while it has been a while, and I do not know how soon I will be updating, I am NOT, I repeat NOT, dropping this story.

I hate when people drop stories, and when I made my account I promised myself I would never drop one.

So, yes, it may be a while, depending on other factors, but I promise you, unless I unexpectedly die, this story and all of the others will be finished. Maybe not today, or this week, or even this month, but they will be. I understand if you don't want to wait around, because it might be a while, but I promise, I will finish these stories. I just wanted to make that clear, and apologize for how long it is taking.

Have a good day.

Sincerely,

~RedTailedHawkens


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